The thing I wasn’t going to talk about (updated)

First, thanks so much for your kind words AND for the collective cooing over our sweet beh beh.

I said yesterday that I wasn’t going to talk about the potential issue, but, surprise I am.

During our ultrasound yesterday, the technician noticed what appeared to an amniotic band close to my cervix. My reactions was “Oh, well, there’s amniotic fluid in there so bands are a thing, I guess.” And we went about our business with the tech mentioning that she was going to ask my doctor about it. After doing so she said that we would take another look at it when they try to get another shot of the baby’s face.

When we got home, I casually searched “amniotic band” on the Internet. And then proceed to dissolve into a puddle of ugly tears because the Internet is horrible for pregnant women and only includes information on the small percentage of people who experience problems because of this “issue.”

So Ross and I go back to the doctor today to sit down with him and discuss everything in more depth. He confirms that it is definitely an amniotic band but, due to its position, he’s not concerned. However, he would like us to go see a perinatal specialist to have it looked at. If there’s a real problem, they can go in and do surgery to correct it. But, he assured us that in his 30 years of practice, he’s seen these a lot and has never delivered a baby who suffered complications from it.

Ross hears “not concerned,” “seen these a lot,” “no complications.”

I hear “definitely,” “perinatal specialist,” and “surgery.”

Because I’m a mother now and that’s what I do.

Oh, and I also fall apart.

I know in my head that everything will be fine. I know in my head that I know this is not a disaster and we could have heard some very devastating news today.

But I also know in my heart that it kills me to think that there’s a chance that something could hurt my baby and, if so, his or her safe little bubble in my belly might have to be disrupted to deal with it.


We’re seeing the specialist tomorrow. His name is Dr. Christmas. I’m hoping that’s a sign of good things to come.

14 thoughts on “The thing I wasn’t going to talk about (updated)

  1. As scary as this is, focus on the positive. You saw it yourself… everything measuring on track, perfectly round head, adorable little toes. The wee one looks good, so you have every reason to believe your babe is absolutely perfect!

    Healthy baby vibes still going out to you…

  2. We’re praying for you Val.

    Being of the mind that Doctors are money grubbing fear mongers if the Doc isn’t worried then that means it’s not a problem because if he could concievably make it a problem he would…because he’s a doctor…and he took my wisdom teeth…which I want back.

  3. I understand what you are going through and my advice is listen to your intuition. Keep prayers up and listen to your doctor and perinatologist. The one I had was awesome and she gave it to me like it was which I like.

    In my prayers,


  4. Honestly, the doctor’s words sound very encouraging! Hoping that Christmas comes early for you! LOL

    On second thought… that statement sounds REALLY dirty! :)

  5. Dr. Christmas is totally a good sign. When I had a huge list of names to choose from blindly, I picked my dentist bc his name sounded friendly–Garfield. It was true.

  6. I’m not quite sure how I even found my way here tonight…but I just wanted to let you know that several of my friends have been to Dr. Christmas and he is *wonderful*. You’re in good hands!

  7. I have heard so many good things about Dr. Christmas. It’s great that they’re getting you in so quickly. In my opinion, good, responsive care makes all the difference.

    Now, step away from Dr. Google. I mean it.

    Good thoughts coming your way.

  8. *hugs*

    You will be a wonderful parent, focus on that, and know that we never get more in life then we can handle. That sweet little baby is being cared for by the best possible source….you.

    Lots of prayers are coming your way, and please let us know if we can do anything.

  9. I follow your blog on and really enjoy it. You guys are so cute!

    Congratulations on the wee one! I know it is a scary thing, but the chances are very high that everything will be fine, fine, fine.

    This particular post jumped out at me for another reason though. I was born in 1971 and, the best that my doctor and I can tell now, was affected by ABS. I was born with a very small left hand that almost looks like a foot. I was not diagnosed with anything upon birth, except just that there was a deformity. Of course, this was 1971 – before ultrasounds.

    Despite this, I have not known anything about being different at all my entire life. I mean, I know I’m different, but I’ve not ever been limited in what I can do. That’s because my parents from the day I was born treated me no different and let me do it all.

    I cannot stress enough now how important parenting is. I am now the mom to two boys – 8 and 2. I am in awe of how important this job is. Now I realize the position my parents were in and how vital their perspective was to my well being for my ENTIRE life. I owe them my whole life.

    Best wishes to you both as you embark on the most important job you will ever have, a job that will never end. My prayers are with you for a happy healthy baby!


  10. Pingback: Parental Crisis #001 or How I learned to love my child — Raising Richmond

  11. Pingback: Made in Richmond » Another check on the tubes

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