I had a follow-up appointment with my doctor today — just over four weeks since I took that initial first step to get things back on track with my brain and all. Since it was time to check in with him, I figured it was time to check in with you all, too (since the comments, emails, phone calls, and text messages I got following that post showed me that I am, in fact not alone in this).
I’m feeling good. That heavy feeling is gone, most of the time, and I feel like a fog has definitely lifted. Lower days still pop up every now and then, but overall I think I’m functioning like the rest of the world does on a regular basis. And now that I’m getting a taste of how most people react to stressful situations (and, you know, life) I’m realizing that I definitely should have gotten my little bippy into the doctor’s office much sooner. I mean, how come none of you TOLD me that you can experience something stressful and annoying and yet still function in other parts of your life without letting said experience seep into every part of your existence, thus rendering you useless and in despair?
As far as the specifics go, I’m currently taking 25mg of Zoloft, once a day — that’s half of a regular pill. I tend to be sensitive to whatever medicine I take, so my doctor wanted me to start there and move up to 50mg after a couple weeks. Well, when I did that, once 2pm came around, I was ready for a three-hour, face-slammed-into-the-pillow-drool-all-over-my-chin nap. We agree that I do need to bump up the dosage, but I’m going to try taking the pill later in the day so the sleepies coincide with when I’m going to bed. I go back in six weeks for another follow-up to see how things are going.
When I was talking things over with my doctor, going back and forth on how to time my dosage and what I can do to counteract any side effects, I interrupted him with…
“AUGH. I just HATE this. I hate having to sit here and come up with a strategy to make my brain work properly.”
Being the awesome guy that he is, my doctor looked me in the face and said, “Listen. This isn’t ‘you.’ Having this doesn’t define you. You’re just in a dip and we need to get you back out. It’s not forever. We’re starting here and then we’re going to see how it goes. You’ll get there.”
And then I proposed to him.
So there you have it. One month in, doing well, with plans to be doing even better very soon. I’ll take it.