Ohhhhhhh THAT’S what I’m supposed to do!
I’m watching an episode of True Life and a girl is talking her boyfriend about how she didn’t sleep the night before because she was worrying about her very real financial and familial problems. He is less than sympathetic:
“I didn’t sleep last night.”
“Well, who’s fault is that?”
“It’s no one’s fault. I just don’t sleep.”
“You just need to relax is all.”
This girl is a kinder, more patient person than me, because she just responds with a sigh. I would have responded with a punch in the face. While I have virtually no physical symptoms of anxiety since switching jobs, I have strong memories of how it felt. It’s frustrating. It’s crippling. And no one wants to feel that way.
A person with anxiety knows that he or she needs to relax. Pointing this out only makes them feel inadequate, not comforted.
Consider some of these alternatives:
“Why do you think you’re having such a hard time relaxing?”
“Is there anything I can do to help you out?”
or, best of all…
“I’m sorry you’re having a hard time. I love you.”
That last one goes a long way.
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You are a very wise girl, Miss Valerie.
ah, i had this situation this morning. A certain someone’s general response when i’m freaking out is “Hi pretty girl, want to cuddle?”
Excellent suggestions! I always like to be offered some kind of cheer-up bribe like peanut butter toast and / or chocolate, too.