Remember this picture? I had planned on posting a picture regularly but those plans were made when I was just three weeks in to being a parent and, therefore, blissfully unaware of how you barely have a chance to go to the bathroom let alone take pictures of yourself and hem and haw about them.
So, almost 8 months later, here’s an update…
Don’t let the picture deceive you. Yes, things look to be back in working order, but oh they are SO NOT.
Before I got pregnant, I was in incredible shape. INCREDIBLE. My arms! They were amazing! Even my legs (which I hate and keep encased in denim even in August) looked good! And my stomach. Oh, stomach, how I miss you.
I am back to my pre-pregnancy weight. Possibly even below, but I can’t know for sure because the battery on the scale died and I haven’t replaced it yet (see aforementioned bathroom comment). But I’m what you’d call “skinny soft” at this point. There is very little muscle tone going on anywhere on me whatsoever.
Speaking of muscles, let’s talk about my abdominal muscles. Some of you might want to stop reading now because, geez, this is kind of gross.
Ok, so do you remember how I looked like this? And how I gave birth to a hoss of child? Turns out that the whole experience caused my stomach muscles TO SEPARATE DOWN THE MIDDLE. Yes. You read that right. I discovered this one evening as I was doing some crunches in a feverish attempt to ready my mid-section for the unforgiving bridesmaids dress I was going to be wearing that weekend. I rested my finger tips on the middle of my belly. And there was a gap. A big one.
After freaking out and then making Ross feel it and my sister feel it and my mother feel it, I did a little research and found that it’s not a big deal and can be dealt with by doing some exercises. But I really think that rather than showing teenagers in family life how to put on condoms, they should just have those girls touch my stomach. They will want nothing to do with sex after that.
Or I could just show them my belly button.