Comments on: My first big decision as a parent http://madeinrichmond.net/my-first-big-decision-as-a-parent/ One doesn't *become* a Southern lady. You either are, or you're not. No amount of acclimation will make up for a lack of upbringing based on bare feet, good manners, and the mastery of puddling rather than sweating. Sat, 30 Aug 2008 05:55:37 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.2 By: Made in Richmond » We made a decision http://madeinrichmond.net/my-first-big-decision-as-a-parent/#comment-12774 Made in Richmond » We made a decision Sat, 31 May 2008 12:32:12 +0000 http://madeinrichmond.net/my-first-big-decision-as-a-parent/#comment-12774 [...] few weeks ago I was hemming and hawing over whether or not to get the AFP test done on this here babe. Actually the test wouldn’t [...] […] few weeks ago I was hemming and hawing over whether or not to get the AFP test done on this here babe. Actually the test wouldn’t […]

]]> By: Julie http://madeinrichmond.net/my-first-big-decision-as-a-parent/#comment-11501 Julie Mon, 19 May 2008 19:27:54 +0000 http://madeinrichmond.net/my-first-big-decision-as-a-parent/#comment-11501 I have three kids and didn't do this testing with any of them. Pregnancy is something you should enjoy (as much as possible). Those tests give off a lot of false positives. Then you will spend 20 weeks worried sick and the worry might be for naught. I have three kids and didn’t do this testing with any of them. Pregnancy is something you should enjoy (as much as possible). Those tests give off a lot of false positives. Then you will spend 20 weeks worried sick and the worry might be for naught.

]]> By: Laurel http://madeinrichmond.net/my-first-big-decision-as-a-parent/#comment-11485 Laurel Mon, 19 May 2008 16:19:32 +0000 http://madeinrichmond.net/my-first-big-decision-as-a-parent/#comment-11485 Your coworker is right. Whatever decision you make would be the right one. You guys are going to be great parents! Your coworker is right. Whatever decision you make would be the right one. You guys are going to be great parents!

]]> By: Chris http://madeinrichmond.net/my-first-big-decision-as-a-parent/#comment-11287 Chris Sat, 17 May 2008 18:49:01 +0000 http://madeinrichmond.net/my-first-big-decision-as-a-parent/#comment-11287 Val, I read your blog all the time and very rarely make comments, but I couldn't resist on this one. My wife and I have three kids. With our third, we did the initial tests and the amnio, both came back clean. C., my son, ended up having special needs. I say this not to make you worry at all, but to agree with everyone who has commented already. When Flipper comes out, you will be entered into the most awesome club ever. The only true advice that ever works for us as parents is that quiet, still voice that we hear when we're really looking for the right answer. Good luck to you and Ross on the birth of your first baby. It's gonna be awesome! Val,

I read your blog all the time and very rarely make comments, but I couldn’t resist on this one. My wife and I have three kids. With our third, we did the initial tests and the amnio, both came back clean. C., my son, ended up having special needs.

I say this not to make you worry at all, but to agree with everyone who has commented already. When Flipper comes out, you will be entered into the most awesome club ever. The only true advice that ever works for us as parents is that quiet, still voice that we hear when we’re really looking for the right answer.

Good luck to you and Ross on the birth of your first baby. It’s gonna be awesome!

]]> By: Jennifer C. http://madeinrichmond.net/my-first-big-decision-as-a-parent/#comment-11284 Jennifer C. Sat, 17 May 2008 18:25:24 +0000 http://madeinrichmond.net/my-first-big-decision-as-a-parent/#comment-11284 We had the screen, but with the knowledge that it probably wouldn't change anything we'd do. I would've refused an amnio if anything had come up. I know way too many women who've had false positives on the stupid test to risk it. Of course, we have no history of genetic issues in either family - were there risk factors on either side, I would have been more likely to act on a positive result. You're right about parenting choices - from here on out, you're going to get advice whether you want it or not, from people who may present themselves as "experts" in childbirth/rearing, to those who simply share their experiences, to those who just say "Do what feels right." That's probably the best advice, anyway :) We had the screen, but with the knowledge that it probably wouldn’t change anything we’d do. I would’ve refused an amnio if anything had come up. I know way too many women who’ve had false positives on the stupid test to risk it. Of course, we have no history of genetic issues in either family - were there risk factors on either side, I would have been more likely to act on a positive result.
You’re right about parenting choices - from here on out, you’re going to get advice whether you want it or not, from people who may present themselves as “experts” in childbirth/rearing, to those who simply share their experiences, to those who just say “Do what feels right.” That’s probably the best advice, anyway :)

]]> By: MJ http://madeinrichmond.net/my-first-big-decision-as-a-parent/#comment-11268 MJ Sat, 17 May 2008 16:22:59 +0000 http://madeinrichmond.net/my-first-big-decision-as-a-parent/#comment-11268 I agree with Deborah - the testing will not so much be a change in plans if something comes up in the results - but if something does, you want to be prepared. When I was pregnant, we opted for the triple screen testing and decided that no matter what, we would still have our baby. But, if we were going to have a child with down syndrome, etc. - we wanted to know so that we could study and be prepared for how our child would be different and the same as other children. So that as parents, we could provide a high quality of life for our child - regardless of mental or physical differences.... I agree with Deborah - the testing will not so much be a change in plans if something comes up in the results - but if something does, you want to be prepared. When I was pregnant, we opted for the triple screen testing and decided that no matter what, we would still have our baby. But, if we were going to have a child with down syndrome, etc. - we wanted to know so that we could study and be prepared for how our child would be different and the same as other children. So that as parents, we could provide a high quality of life for our child - regardless of mental or physical differences….

]]> By: Kelly http://madeinrichmond.net/my-first-big-decision-as-a-parent/#comment-11256 Kelly Sat, 17 May 2008 14:08:43 +0000 http://madeinrichmond.net/my-first-big-decision-as-a-parent/#comment-11256 Don't worry! You will find the answer that is best for you and your hubby. :) Just think... it's just the beginning of all your mommy worrying! Comes with the territory, I suppose! Don’t worry! You will find the answer that is best for you and your hubby. :)

Just think… it’s just the beginning of all your mommy worrying! Comes with the territory, I suppose!

]]> By: Suz in RVA http://madeinrichmond.net/my-first-big-decision-as-a-parent/#comment-11252 Suz in RVA Sat, 17 May 2008 13:38:44 +0000 http://madeinrichmond.net/my-first-big-decision-as-a-parent/#comment-11252 Lurker delurking here. I have three sons - I was given the lovely label of "Advanced Maternal Age" when we had our last child. We opted for the genetic counseling and found it to be quite surreal but informational. Basically, we wouldn't have "done" anything regardless of the results but wanted to be prepared. Luckily, our chances for genetic anomalies were slim and we stopped there. I agree with your co-worker. Whatever you decide will be the right thing. Pregnant brain/Mommy brain causes you to second guess and third guess everything but Mommy heart never leads you off the path you should follow. Good luck and best wishes. Lurker delurking here. I have three sons - I was given the lovely label of “Advanced Maternal Age” when we had our last child. We opted for the genetic counseling and found it to be quite surreal but informational. Basically, we wouldn’t have “done” anything regardless of the results but wanted to be prepared. Luckily, our chances for genetic anomalies were slim and we stopped there.

I agree with your co-worker. Whatever you decide will be the right thing. Pregnant brain/Mommy brain causes you to second guess and third guess everything but Mommy heart never leads you off the path you should follow.

Good luck and best wishes.

]]> By: Deborah Dowd http://madeinrichmond.net/my-first-big-decision-as-a-parent/#comment-11212 Deborah Dowd Sat, 17 May 2008 04:28:56 +0000 http://madeinrichmond.net/my-first-big-decision-as-a-parent/#comment-11212 I had this same dilemma when I became pregnant at 39. I took the test because if there were something wrong it would be good to be prepared, however, when I had cramping after the amnio I was so worried that I would lose the baby. Later when they gave me the results of the genetic studies (just based on the extensive family history,not the test itself) I found that my risk was so remote, that if I had known that ahead of time I would never have taken the test. It's a tough decision, but if you plan to have the baby no matter what, I would think twice. Good luck and congratulations- it is a scary and wonderful time (I should know, I've had 6!) I had this same dilemma when I became pregnant at 39. I took the test because if there were something wrong it would be good to be prepared, however, when I had cramping after the amnio I was so worried that I would lose the baby. Later when they gave me the results of the genetic studies (just based on the extensive family history,not the test itself) I found that my risk was so remote, that if I had known that ahead of time I would never have taken the test. It’s a tough decision, but if you plan to have the baby no matter what, I would think twice. Good luck and congratulations- it is a scary and wonderful time (I should know, I’ve had 6!)

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