Five stages of a child’s illness (as experienced by a couple)
Stage 1: Breeziness
Hmm, he feels a little warm. You know, he was a little sniffly and crabby today. Let’s just give him some Motrin and put him down early. He’ll be fine tomorrow. My, didn’t we handle that well?
Stage 2: Panic
Is he wheezing? I think he’s wheezing. Did you take his temperature? 103? What do we do? Can you call your mother? Please call your mother. I’m going to keep redialing the doctor’s office until they open so we can schedule an appointment. Is he wheezing?
Stage 3: Mutual hatred
You think you’re tired? *I’M* tired. How many times have you sucked the snot out of his head today? Oh yeah, well I don’t really care if you’re stressed out. We’re all going through this so SHUT UP. That’s it, no more babies.
Stage 4: Solidarity
Babe, I’m so glad you’re here. I would never be able to do this without you. I feel like we have the same bond that P.O.W.’s do, ya know? We can get through this. We will get through this and be so much stronger for it. Babe, babe, I love you. I just…I just love you (please don’t leave me alone with the shrieking child oh God).
Stage 5: Euphoria
He’s laughing! He’s eating! He’s smiling! Remember how awful that was? Oh, he’s so perfect. And you’re wonderful. No *you’re* wonderful. No, no *you’re* wonderful.
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So glad the boy is feeling better
Valerie,
You hit it on the head!!! I have so lived these 5 stages often during the last couple of months. This post had Tim and I laughing so hard, it is so us! I am glad JR is feeling better. Grayson is too! Hopefully they will continue to do well.
Kelly
Hilarious.
Stage 2 Panic for me is often: you’re going to work and leaving me with a sick child and a well child? What am I going to do with BOTH OF THEM!
And then I try to come up with an excuse to bring them to the doctor’s office so my husband can help out for twenty minutes
I am terrified for the first time Libby gets sick.