Made in Richmond

Today has sucked. I’ve had a ton of work to do. I still have a ton of work to do. Plus, I’m home with the baby whom I love so dearly, but can be a bit of a distraction.

When I work from home, I have two blocks of time in which I can get things done, totalling up to roughly four hours. Yes, a full workday of things must be accomplished in half the time most people have. Usually that doesn’t happen, so I end up working for a few more hours once JR goes to bed.

And unfortunately, sometimes I work through the times that he’s awake during the day, times I usually try to put everything away and focus on him. I had to do that a lot today. A lot.

He held it together for a while. Playing on the floor with his little piano, munching on his lunch while sitting in his high chair that I had scooted over next to my desk, bopping around in his rocking chair while shrieking. But before his afternoon nap, I put him down to go answer the phone. He looked at me, his face crumpled, and he dissolved into a blubbery mess of tears, arms reaching up to me.

It was like he was saying, “Please, Mama. Just sit down and spend some time with me.”

And so I sat. We both cried a little bit more. A few kisses later, things were ok again. He’s now curled up in his crib asleep. I’m down here writing this instead of doing the rest of the work I have to do. Somehow, by writing this, I feel like I’m apologizing to him for not being the best mother for him today.