Made in Richmond

I’ve never cared what people name their dogs. I mean, it’s a dog. In fact, I find it hilarious when people give their dogs incredibly normal human names like Mike or John. All I cared about was if I had dogs and if they were cute and awesome. And, let’s be honest, I would very rarely use their real name, instead opting for a ridiculous nickname.

Ross is different. He had known he wanted to name his first dog Shooter long before we even thought about getting a dog. When we talked about getting a second dog, I made a suggestion.

“It’d be neat if we got a really big dog and named it Bear.”

“No. We’re naming it Zapp.”

“Why?”

“After Zapp Branigan.”

For those you who don’t know, Zapp Branigan is a character on Futurama. A character that doesn’t wear pants. But, being that it was a miracle that Ross was even hinting at the fact that he would be OK with a second dog, I wasn’t going to push it.

So we got another dog. A sweet girl dog. And named her Zapp. After a cartoon male. Who, again, doesn’t wear pants.

Here’s a picture so you can see why this is hilarious:

Another hilarious part about her name is that when she’s misbehaving or won’t come inside when you call her, you have to yell “Zapp! Zapp! Zapp!” over and over again and sound like a crazy idiot.

Incidentally, she does have nicknames. Things like Zapp-along, Zapparoni, Zapparoo, Zappy-girl, and ZappAttack are the most common.

Shooter just has one nickname, his full name really… Shooter Belle Catrow.

So, we have a new yard:

Gone are the holes created by our heroine, and here are lovely pieces of sod that will hopefully grow in soon - just in time for us to sell this joint.

You would think that a puppy would love this. Soft! Grass! Rolling around! Running! Not so much. Instead, Zapp spent about 20 minutes sniffing every square inch of the yard, either trying to figure out who had been there recently, or frantically searching for a spot she’d where she’d recently done her thing.

Eventually she found a comfortable spot and did her business. When I called her in, she did her normal flop into playing stance (you know the one - butt in the air, tail wagging, but dumb tongue hanging out her mouth), but was so taken aback by the change in texture of the ground underneath her, she scrambled up onto the porch and slunk inside.

But, I guess being afraid of the yard means she won’t dig it up. Because then I’d have to murder her, and who would you guys read about on Saturdays?

What are you up to, Zapp?

Oh, just blogging.

The other night Zapp and I were in the living room while Shooter was supervising Ross as he cooked dinner in the kitchen.

As my eyes were fixed on the TV, I heard a vaguely familiar puddling sound to my right. I looked over and saw Zapp, squatting over her dog bed, taking a giant whiz.

She and I looked at each other with equally saucer-like eyes. I couldn’t say anything; she couldn’t stop.

Then I started screaming brilliant and helpful things like, “What the hell are you doing?!?” and “Where the hell do you think you are?!?!?” And she started running for the door.

We haven’t spoken of it since.

Zapp doesn’t know how to fetch. She’s horrible on a leash. And she certainly can’t balance things on her nose. But there is one thing she can do.

Take a look.

Zapp is a happy dog. She shows that she’s happy by wagging her tail. All. the. time. She’s especially waggy first thing in the morning. As she lumbers down the stairs and into the kitchen, she often knocks over the items resting on the shelf in our hallway. In fact, she has been known to clear off an end table when one of us does something as awesome as saying her name or moving from one couch to another.

This problem is amplified that her tail is oddly long. Let’s talk numbers…

Zapp is about 42 inches long.

Her tail makes up 16 inches of that.

So almost 40% of her body length is tail.

I guess this picture should have given us a clue:

Oh well. At least she’s pretty. And I must admit, hearing her tail go “THUMP THUMP THUMP” just because you walk into the room is pretty nice for the ego.

As I’ve mentioned before, we believe that Zapp is some kind of hound. Being a hound, she’s got an extremely sensitive nose (or “sniffer” as we call it because we are THAT CUTE).

If we ever need to spray air freshener, static guard, or any kind of cleanser, it’s greeted with inordinate amounts of sneezing, snuffling, and schmuffing. I made up that last word because I needed to convey what it sounds like. There’s also a lot of this:

Sometimes it seems like the tickle is so bad that she wants to rip her own face off. Poor thing.

Audrey and Erin have come up with the fabulous idea of giving out awards to those bloggers kind enough to share the cuteness of their pups with the Internets. They also had the even more fabulous idea of dedicating an entire award to Zappturday!

Click on the wee doggie face to learn more AND to vote for your favorite Zappturday post!

Zapp loves blankets more than anything. I think her complete lack of body fat makes her crave any kind of warmth she can get. Plus, as a natural snuggler, she seems to love being tucked in whenever possible. Often you’ll walk into the bed room and find her lumbering around the room with a blanket she’s wrapped around her own head, much like this:

I think this picture makes her look like she’s taking part in a Christmas pageant. Can’t you picture Shooter floating just above her in the role of the angel Gabriel?

Yup. Looks about right.