Made in Richmond

My latest Raising Richmond column is up and I think you should read it. It’s about how I love my C-section scar. I didn’t always love it, but now it’s one of my most things on my person.

Go on! Read it! It’s not gross!

More here.

Perhaps one of the reasons I’m having a hard time keeping up with posts here is because I keep writing stuff for other places.

Here’s a quick round-up, should you be interested:

First I wrote about eating burgers.

Then I wrote about poop (this isn’t related to the first one).

Next up was a weather exhibit at our local Children’s Museum.

That was followed by a piece about JR’s dog named “Bunn”.

Then we had a bit about a local event that gives toddlers access to heavy machinery.

And finally, I lost my mind whilst parenting JR on my own.

Happy reading!

The latest installment in the parenting column I write for RVANews is up. We’re talking about division of labor and, more specifically, if you feel like you and your partner have found a fair balance.

I learned something very important in writing this one: my husband is a pretty great guy.

I hope you’ll go and read it, and maybe even share a thought or two.

I cried a lot this morning.

And, no, I’m not pregnant (SHANNON) and I wasn’t watching Parenthood (the show, not the movie, although the movie also makes me weep… openly).

I slept for about 2 hours last night. The night before that? Preeeeetty much the same. Same thing for the night before that and the night before that.

So that’s been awesome.

Although I said things are better with the whole day care/me working out of the home more situation, my feelings this week are not so much in line with that statement.

Work is stressful right now – you know, like sick to your stomach, please just leave me alone stressful. When it gets to be like that, my first response is “I just want to quit and stay home and be with my kid. It’s not worth it.”

But let’s be honest, in that situation, I’m using the stay-at-home option as a way to potentially escape the stress of work*. I’m not ready to give up working. While I love (love, love, love, LOOOOOOOVE) being home with JR, I also love work. However, I don’t so much love my approach to work.

I work constantly, making myself available to other people pretty much nonstop from the moment I wake up until the moment I got to sleep.

That needs to stop. And quick.

I have other (more important) things to think about, to invest my time in. Like my child, my marriage, and, oh yeah, MY SANITY.

So, it’s rule time.

As of today, Fridays (which are supposed to be my day off) are actually going to be my day off. An Out of office message will be set up and I will only use the Internet to read blogs and celebrity news, just as nature intended.

Also (and this is huge/terrifying for me), I will not be checking email after 9:30pm. This might sound not at all nuts for some people, but trust me, it’s kind of giving me chest pains. One of my jobs requires a lot of communication with freelancers who, incidentally, often do their work at night. But I’ll make it work. It needs to work.

Regardless of the potential wrenches these rules might throw into things, they have to happen. For my kid, my husband, and for me.

(Hold me, I’m scared.)

*I don’t want to imply that people who choose to stay home are doing so to escape the stresses of work. Being a stay-at-home parent comes with its own set of very real and very hard challenges. I just mean that for me, when/if I come to the decision to stay home, I want it to come from a positive place, not from one of stress and frustration with my current situation.

We’re a month into JR’s new routine of going to day care and my new routine of being in the office 3 1/2 (give or take) days a week.

I must say, things are going swimmingly. Aside from that whole missing an entire week due to a cold/ear infection that caused a ruptured ear drum. Details, details.

While some days I hate (hate, hate, hate, haaaaate) dropping him off, overall, we are handling things well. He typically cries when we leave, but I can hear him stop as soon as the door shuts. He also cries when we go to pick him up, but on a few occasions I’ve been able to sneak in without him seeing me, so I know that he waits to turn the waterworks on until he realizes that we’re there. I think he just forgets that he misses us, what with all of the learning and playing and fun-having he’s doing.

I do ok most days. His day care center is within walking distance of our office — something that is both good and bad. Good in that I can get there in 2 minutes if I need to, but bad in that… well, I can get there in 2 minutes if I need to. The building is just sitting there, taunting me all day long.

But the absolute best outcome of our new situation is that I no longer spend the time we are together feeling pulled in two directions. I feel much less guilty about making myself unavailable to work-related tasks in the evening because I’ve been able to invest quite a reasonable chunk of time to those during the day. I’m a better worker, and a better mother because I don’t feel like those two roles are constantly in conflict.

Plus, that “Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama!” I get when I go pick him up is pretty awesome.

A couple weeks ago a reporter from one of our local TV stations contacted Ross and I to see if he could interview us about what we do over at RVANews.

After thinking, “What? Why?” and having a mild anxiety attack, I agreed. And then Ross agreed because he does what I tell him to.

So here it is.

Although my hair looks terrible (I got it cut mere hours after the interview), my desk makes it looks like I have a slight hoarding problem when it comes to beverages and cell phones (it’s a long story), and I apparently always speak like I’m asking? a question?, I think he portrayed us well.

But I can’t be sure because I still have to watch it through my fingers while going “Eeeeeeeeesh.”

Do you know how hard it is to concentrate on work when you hear that “meh meh meh” winding up cry over the monitor?

All I want to say is “ANOTHER HOUR! I’M SUPPOSED TO HAVE ANOTHER HOUR! FIND YOUR LITTLE THUMB AND GO BACK TO SLEEP, KID. GEEZ!”

I’ve started contributing to a parenting column over at RVANews. The format is basically two sets of parents (Ross and I, and the fabulous Jorge and Patience) talking about various parenting topics.

Last time we talked about raising kids in the city. A great conversation started from that.

This week we discussed co-sleeping, something that EVERY parent has an opinion on, as they should. Head on over to see what people are saying and let us know what you think. Only one rule, though: BE NICE.

I’m lucky enough to be home with JR on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Sometimes I take him into the office with me for a bit on those days, but usually it’s us doing our thing at home.

While I love the fact that I am able to work from home on those days, as he’s getting bigger and more and more alert, the days of him spending his awake time looking around bleery-eyed are gone forever. Now when he’s awake and wants and deserves to be engaged. As those periods of awake time are getting longer, this “work from home” thing is starting to turn into more of a “frantically trying to get things done during naptimes” thing.

Naturally, this shift in JR’s development effects how much work I actually get done at home. And then I get frustrated. And when I get frustrated, I become very disappointed in myself on lots of different levels.

So following the same idea as this post (back when JR was just 2 weeks old WHAT IS HAPPENING TO MY BAY-BEEE???) I’m instead going to focus on the awesome motherly things I did today. Because, really, in the grand scheme of things, that is what’s more important.

Here we go…

Books read: Harold and the Purple Crayon (4 times because he smiles like crazy when I read it), Strega Nona, a little bit of James and the Giant Peach, The Very Busy Spider (which was sent to us from my alma mater‘s alumni association – so thoughtful), and Goodnight Moon.

Songs sung: C is for Cookie, Little Potato, Three Blind Jellyfish, All the Single Ladies (he loves it, ok?)

Games played: Peek-a-boo, “I’m-Gonna-Getchoo,” and “Where is JR’s [name of body part here]? There is JR’s [name of body part here].”

Yes. Looking at it that way makes me feel so much better.

*JR seems to be what we’re going with, although I still call him Jackson from time to time. Usually when he’s screeching like two feral cats fighting in an alley crying really hard and needs a cuddle.