Made in Richmond

I am 27.

I’m having a baby in a matter of days.

What. The. Hell.

All of our clothes are still in suitcases, and I have no clue what went where in my kitchen cabinets, but we’re getting there.

Thanks to some incredible, wonderful, and very handsome and strong people, the POD was unpacked by 5:30 on Friday - a full hour before we had even asked people to show up. We spent yesterday unpacking and cleaning. Ross and his dad also got a couple things accomplished on our to-do list while Ross’s mom continued to unpack and my mom and I went to Target to stock up on shower curtains and the like for our THREE AND A HALF BATHROOMS. WTF.

Today Ross’s dad is coming back over to install a ceiling fan, but other than that, we’re taking a break today. There will be some unpacking, but mostly we’ll be trying to settle in. And napping. Oh! the napping.

Hopefully the dogs will get plenty of time to adjust today. It’s been pretty chaotic over here the last couple days with lots of people in and out and so much going on. It seems that Shooter and Zapp switched personalities upon walking in the door. He spends his days prancing around while she cowers from corner to corner, not knowing what to do next. Every strange sound makes her lose her sh*t (figuratively and literally), and if she’s left alone in a room, there is much woe expressed with brain-crushing howls. I’m considering valium. For everyone.

I’ll post pictures soon. Pictures of our new house. With four bedrooms. And three and a half bathrooms.

The old house was sold as of 1:30 this afternoon.

The new house was bought as of 4:30 this afternoon.

I am so tired I can’t believe it. I’m sure my levels of uselessness will be astounding for the next few days.

I currently have two new loves of my life: PODs and our mortgage guy (If you want his name, email me and I’ll give it to you. Talk about hustling. He made what normally happens in two months happen in two weeks.)

This will mark poor Ross’s third night of sleeping on floors. He spent Tuesday and Wednesday sleeping in the old empty house with the dogs. Tonight he will sleep in the new empty house, also with the dogs (who are thoroughly confused and probably completely scarred, what with all the back and forth over the last few days). Meanwhile, I’ve been residing in a lovely guest room (let’s be honest, it’s more like a suite) at my in-laws’ house with my own bathroom, TV, and lots and lots of pillows.

I drove back and forth between my in-laws’ house and other various locations for a total of about six times today. I think I’ve used as much gas in one day that I did all of last month.

I have no clue what day it is.

Our new front door automatically locks when it shuts. I predict several incidents of me locking myself out of the house while the new baby is left inside.

After the constant uphill battles, I’m starting to feel like I can say that we will be moving into our new house next week.

There were issues with appraisals and inspections that made me start to think that maybe this wouldn’t happen. But the appraisal issues got figured out this week and today a structural engineer confirmed that everything is good to go with the new house.

So, save any issues that could come up with paperwork, on Thursday we will be saying goodbye to this house and taking position of the house we will call home for a long time, the house we will bring our babies home to.

It’s starting to feel really, really good.

I haven’t posted in about 4 days which is pretty much unheard of in these parts. Here’s a quick rundown of what’s going on…

-We’re on track to close on this house and the new one on Thursday August 14th. Yes, that’s in 13 days.

-We are now in the process of coordinating the move and final paperwork to make this happen.

-Packing started tonight. And by packing I mean Ross doing stuff and me hobbling around the room trying be helpful but getting pretty frustrated that I can’t do much.

-My mother is coming to help me pack tomorrow because Ross has to go into work.

-My mother-in-law is making all of the phone calls to coordinate PODS and what not. She even emailed us with a list of possible delivery scenarios, complete with pros and cons. I almost cried, it was so thorough.

-The baby kicks all the time. It is also now startled by loud noises which freaks me the eff out.

-I get elbowed (or kicked, or punched, or kneed) at all hours of the day and night. I love it but sometimes it really, really hurts.

-I feel that I am approaching ridiculous-looking status and I still have 14 weeks to go.

-I ONLY HAVE 14 WEEKS TO GO.

-I am constantly praying that the stars continue to align and that all of these carefully balanced elements of my life do not fall apart.

-I have never needed alcohol so much in my life.

There a few things in life (other than parenting, I’m sure) that make you feel more stupid and incompetent than a buying a house.

Couple that with pregnancy and you have a big (literally), blubbery mess. That mess would be me.

I’m amazed by how much I don’t know, even though I’ve been through this process once before. Granted we are buying AND selling, but still. You would think past experience would make it easier. Well, not so much.

So I spent some time today crying. And then some time feeling guilty for crying. And then some more time trying to at least stay on top of everything I could.

I just keep telling myself, “Two and a half weeks, two and a half weeks.” And then I keep telling myself that, really, this is a wonderful problem to have.

It looks like we will be moving on or around August 9th. That’s in 16 days. SIXTEEN DAYS. As in a little bit more than two weeks. As in OMG I’m freaking out.  Of course this all depends on how things go when the house is inspected on Monday. If all goes well, I will be frantically packing starting Monday night.

We looked at several houses on Wednesday, and a some of them were very promising. We got pre-approved for a loan today so we will be going back to look at a couple of the houses this weekend and seeing if we’re ready to make an offer on anything. I wonder what the chances are that someone will want to close in two weeks. I’m thinking pretty slim.

I need to keep telling myself that this is an excellent “problem” to have. In fact, let’s not call it a problem, let’s call it a “situation.” Yes. And let’s have some more peanut butter as we say that.

(Part the third)

31. Donate a large sum of money to the elementary school where I taught.

32. Scream in a library.

33. Watch our little one eat an ice cream cone for the first time.

34. Grow roses bushes.

35.  Pay for a stranger’s college education.

36.  Witness someone giving birth (other than me, that is - I’ll have to be there for that)

37. Sleep in the middle of a field.

38. Take my in-laws on vacation for once. Or maybe even just buy them dinner one time.

39. Spend a day eating only food made by Maura.

40. Have hair past my shoulders again.

(Part 1. Part 2)

21. See the Pacific Ocean.

22. Knit a sweater.

23. Watch my sister perform in a Broadway show.

24. Go to BlogHer.

25. Fix two people up and then go to their wedding.

26. Tell Tyra Banks in person that there is no difference between when she “smiles with her eyes” and when she doesn’t.

27. Put together my family tree.

28. Stay up all night. I’ve really never done it.

29. Cook a turkey.

30. Thank some of my friends’ parents for always being wonderful to me. I guess I could do that now. Thanks, Nancy, Jack, Gloria, Charlie, Jerry, and Sue.

Tell me more of yours. I love reading them!