Made in Richmond

Before I begin, I’d like us to take a moment of silence to officially mourn the end of our vacation in Hilton Head–a week of sun, naps, and (that most wonderful of wonders) grandparents who are willing to take the morning shift for six days straight.

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Thank you.

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Anyway, hey! It’s been a while. I bet you didn’t even know we WENT on vacation. Well we did. And it was awesome. I’m thoroughly exhausted, freckled, and hating the fact that we’re home. But I will say that I’m much more willing to return to life as it is now than what it looked like when I was working full-time. If that were still the case I probably would’ve spent yesterday’s eight(ish) ride back up to Richmond weeping and curled up in a ball on the floor of the car. Instead I just pouted a bit and clung desperately to the fact that at least the dogs are being boarded until Monday. Once I pick those (adorable!) jokers up, it’s all over.

Until then, I will stare at these pictures over and over. You should too.

He pretended to sleep for the first 15 minutes of the drive. Then he spent the rest of the time kicking the back of the driver’s seat.

Photo by his Mamaw. I was very much asleep when this was taken.

Swimming was his favorite. He’s still pretty nervous in the water, but I think we’ll have a little fishy by the end of the summer.

Freckles. All I get are freckles.

Mini golf was totally my favorite part of the trip. The kid had The Adorable turned up to 11.

First real ice cream on our last night in town.

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Things look to be calming down a tiny bit for the summer, so I’m hoping to spend more time over here. I’ve missed you guys. What have you been up to?

I know I’ve done nothing here but post videos and images and links, but it’s about all I can handle right now.

Here’s the thing: a couple days ago, I started to feel like maybe (JUST MAYBE) I was ready to start phasing out my meds. And then I immediately started to feel like I was coming unglued again. So that’s fun.

Anyway, I have a physical at the beginning of May, so I’m going to wait until then to talk about it with my doctor. Until then, I’m trying to cut myself some slack. I hope you will, too.

Thanks for your support, as always. And now I’ll leave you with this song. I’ve been listening to it a lot lately*. It is oh so sweet.

(I thought the drawings on this video were kind of adorable.)

*JR and I have also spent many a morning dancing in the kitchen to this song–maybe my most favorite song in the whole world?)

When you get a moment, go on over to my latest Raising Richmond column and read about the tense relationship I have with my schnozzzzzzzzz.

(This is my great-grandmother, Jennie. She plays an important part in the story. Also, we seem to have similar default expressions that convey a message of “Dude, I will cut you.”)

The other day I needed to call our insurance broker to answer a few questions before we submit applications to a new health insurance company. His assistant need to know the dates around JR’s kidney situation and how long I’ve been on my various medications.

(You see, Ross is a robot and basically has no medical history/ailments. And he doesn’t have enough bandwidth to hold such data.)

I got her on the phone and gave her a brief history of JR’s kidney non-issue and told her when I started back on birth control, the two of us chatting away–your typical pleasant conversation.

And then she paused. Notably.

“Ok, hun. Now I need to ask you about…you know?”

“…what, exactly?”

“Your…condition.”

“My condition.”

“Your **depression**, dear.”

[VAL SMASH]

I know she was just trying to be sensitive, but I got off the phone pretty frustrated. Sure, I realize lots of people don’t feel comfortable yammering on about being depressed, but there’s no need to treat it like some deep, dark secret that must be hidden. No wonder there’s a stigma. Make people feel like lepers and they’re probably not going to want to be open about their struggles with this condition, despite the fact that it affects 19 million (as in 19,000,000) people in this country alone.

On the bright side of things, the conversation reminded me of this scene from Brighton Beach Memoirs. And it’s always nice to think about Neil Simon.

I know it’s been nothing but videos and photos up in here lately, but, well, I’m just being kind of lazy these days. AND LOVIN’ IT.

I wanted to share this video with all of you because it is fantastic and will make you cry ugly-yet-happy tears. And then you’ll go and hold your babies so very tight because, oh my, how time is cruelly and wonderfully fleeting. Also: why did I never learn to play the guitar and then become a beautiful singer with a wonderful voice and an ethereal quality bystanders cannot help but love?

(Thanks to Patience for posting this last week and to The Checkout Girl for telling her about it.)

In related news, I’ve got a piece going up on RVANews tomorrow (Tuesday) about the lullabys (lullabyes?) I sing to JR. I so wish I could go back in time and sing this song to the baby version of him. Anyway, keep an eye out for it…and make sure to leave a comment sharing your favorite baby-lulling tunes.

Mess making.

Lego building.

Coffee drinking.

Responsibility learning.

Pill taking.

Heart breaking.

How about you?

I mentioned in my last post (that went up like a bagillion years ago) that I’d like to be more intentional about how I spend my time with JR. I don’t have plans on scheduling us to the point of exhaustion, but I’d like to have this conversation a bit less frequently…

Him: What are we doing today, Mama?

Me: Um. Well. Hmmm…hey, here’s some crackers!

So the other day I decided to take advantage of the nice(r) weather we’d been having and sent JR on a scavenger hunt. He was in charge of holding the list, finding the objects, and checking them off as we went. I was in charge of taking pictures so we could show his dad when he got home.

Here’s what we found:

A red car

A soccer ball

A stop sign (the sun was in his eyes)

A squirrel (it’s up in that tree back there, I swear)

A flower (also in the background…and I don’t know what JR is doing)

A bike

And our checklist

The whole thing took us about 30 minutes (JR has a tendency to get distracted and we had a lot of “No, YOU the hold the pay-perrrrrr” at first) and ended up being a lot of fun. Recommended!

Sundry does this every year, and I always love reading it, so I figured I might as well join in. You should, too! Leave your responses or a linky-link to your own…posty-post…(I don’t know)…in the comments.

LET’S DO THIS, Y’ALL.

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?
Became a mostly stay-at-home mom. I’ll admit, it threw me for a loop there for a while, but things are good these days.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I always make a resolution to drink more water, but it never happens.

As far as next year, I’d like to more intentional about how JR and I spend our time. I also want to be more proactive about scheduling time for me to do things that have nothing to do with preschoolers.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
We had about a million babies born at church, but as far as people close to me, I’d say:

• My new friend Katie who has the best attitude (and hair) ever — mama to Myles
• My lovely friend Leah who is intimidatingly cool and just fantastic — mama to Grey
• Maura, the love of my life — mama to Arden
• Susan, the funniest person I know — mama to Archie
• Anna, the first funniest person I know who I am now adding because I’m a total jerk-face, just as I will mention below — mama to Potter, AKA Meatball, Pot Roast

All boys! I love baby boys!

I’m sure I’m forgetting someone. If it is you, I am so embarrassed and so sorry.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
I don’t…think so? Oh God, that would be even worse than forgetting someone on the last one.

5. What countries did you visit?
None. I’m poor, dudes.

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
More time hanging out with THE LAY-DEEEEEEEES. And maybe money? I don’t know. More financial security, however that looks. Yes, that.

7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
February 25th, my last day at RVANews.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Getting my son to poop in the damn toilet. I’m also really proud of the writing I did for the RVANews parenting column.

9. What was your biggest failure?
I think I could’ve been a much better wife this year. Adjusting to life at home with JR and managing a resurgence of my anxiety and depression made things really, really hard at times. I’d like to do better next year.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Other than the brains, not really. Unless you count that time I sort of sprained my thumb lifting a laundry basket that was clearly too full of clothes.

(Life is different now.)

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Every bottle of nail polish that I impulsively tossed into the basket at CVS. When you’re broke, it’s the nicest little treat.

12. Where did most of your money go?
Mortgage, daycare/preschool fees. Probably Cook-Out. And maybe the nail polish.

13. What did you get really excited about?
Taking JR to his first movie.

14. What song will always remind you of 2011?
The Friday Night Lights theme song. TEXAS FOREVER.

15. Compared to this time last year, are you:
– happier or sadder? Both. I’m working in extremes these days.
– thinner or fatter? About the same.
– richer or poorer? Ha. Haha. Hahahahahaha.

16. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Chilling the eff out.

17. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Freaking the eff out.

18. How did you spend Christmas?
Christmas Eve with the in-laws. Christmas morning with my mom and sibs. Christmas night with my dad. And my boys were there for all of it, which was all I really wanted.

19. What was your favorite TV program?
Obviously, Friday Night Lights (TEXAS FOREVER AGAIN). And the IT Crowd, which is hilariously fantastic.

20. What were your favorite books of the year?
All of the books from the Song of Ice and Fire series that I’ve read so far. And The Hunger Games.

21. What was your favorite music from this year?
Guys, I love me some Gaga and always will.

22. What were your favorite films of the year?
I think I saw The King’s Speech at the beginning of this year, so I’ll say that. I seriously can’t remember what new movies I’ve seen this year. WHO AM I?

23. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 30 and we had a pizza party in Ross’s parent’s basement and watched Wet Hot American Summer. Apparently I thought I was turning 15.

24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Despite the hard stuff, I’m pretty satisfied with how this year went. Big changes happened, but things are good.

25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
Clean. Ish.

26. What kept you sane?
Zoloft. Coach and Tami Taylor. My husband. My incredible, wonderful, supportive, hilarious friends (both in real life and on the Twitters).

27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.
When people tell you they love you, believe them. Don’t fight it and love them back as hard as you possibly can.

Happy New Year, guys!

Posting is sure to be light for the next few days. Working for a church means that things get pretty busy around Christmas — but in a really lovely way, really. Meanwhile, JR is very much aware of Christmas this year, so we’ve been spending a lot of time just being very, very excited.

So until I make it over here again, I’ll leave you with this, which still makes me tear up even though I’ve watched it more times than I can count…

And Merry Christmas to you and yours.