You are boring, Mama
You better watch it
This is how the baby holds his arm while nursing. Just so I know he’s ready to clock me should I cut him off.
The best conversation I’ve ever had
The following conversation took place on gchat between myself and The Bearded MattWhite. You should know I spend a good portion of my time trying to wrangle in his complete disdain for grammar or punctuation conventions.
me: APOSTROPHES USE THEM
matthew: NO!!!
I DONT LIKE THEM!!!
me: I KNOW YOU DON’T
matthew: IF I BUILT PUNCTUATION CITY THERE WOULD BE BATHROOMS FOR THE APOSTROPHES AND BATHROOMS FOR THE REST OF PUNCTUATIONS
waterfountains too
The best text message I’ve ever gotten
From my tall-drink-of-water friend Hayley…
Do you by any chance know any clowns?
A conversation from today
“Where’s the camera?”
“In one of the drawers where I keep things. What’s that thing called? In the bedroom? It’s tall and I keep things in it. DRESSER. Wow, that was hard to remember that word.”
—
It seems the placenta brain has set in, friends.
Discussed at lunch today
Being kidnapped
Santa Claus
Accidental pregnancy
How to do the Crip walk
Quite the hodgepodge, I would say.
