i’m hilarious

funny, work — Valerie on September 26, 2007 at 6:12 pm

One of my responsibilities at work (one of my favorite ones, actually) is to help write profiles on the people to whom we attribute the quotes we run in our newsletters and what not. The next person on my list for today was Robert Yates. When I Googled his name, three options came up. And then the following conversation took place…

Me: Are we profiling Robert Yates the Anti-Federalist, Robert Yates the NASCAR guy, or Robert Yates the serial killer?

Co-worker: It’s the NASCAR guy - probably not as interesting as the serial killer but much more appropriate, morally speaking.

Me: Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine.

the perfect remedy for a massive mope

baby love, funny — Valerie on September 9, 2007 at 8:14 pm

hilarity. sweet, adorable hilarity.

funny — Valerie on September 7, 2007 at 8:50 pm

bad writing. very, very bad writing.

favorite things, funny — Valerie on August 2, 2007 at 6:11 pm

I think things like this are hilarious to me. Be sure to click on the excerpts of top entries.

I can think of a handful of people that will think this is funny. Like this him (but don’t click there because he never posts), and her (don’t click there either because neither does she), and maybe her (you can click there because she does), and undoubtedly my dad (he doesn’t look like that anymore, but he doesn’t have a blog to link to or not update).

what I just said to Ross:

funny, hubs — Valerie on July 24, 2007 at 7:57 pm

“You can put these away because I don’t want to.”

I’m still laughing because I’m awesome.

perfection

Uncategorized, funny — Valerie on July 11, 2007 at 9:12 am

Click here or the kitty gets it.

the new loves of my life

funny — Valerie on June 22, 2007 at 7:04 pm

My marriage is possibly in danger.

i’m sorry,

funny — Valerie on June 14, 2007 at 9:06 pm

but I think Kathy Griffin is effing hilarious.

fabulous news and a very Richmond encounter

etc., funny — Valerie on June 6, 2007 at 12:22 pm

I weighed myself the gym today and I found out that I now weigh 127.6 pounds.  This means I have now lost 12.4 pounds.  I want to get to 125 so my BMI will be 21.8 which is in the middle of the healthy range for my height (a staggering 63.5 inches).  Even if I don’t get there, losing 10 pounds is huge if you are as short as I am.  So I’m very excited.

Here’s a humorous anecdote for you.  I walked out of the gym today, a sweaty and glorious mess as usual.  There was a guy (I don’t want to assume he was homeless, but let’s just say he didn’t look like he was on his way to work…or to shower) standing in the parking lot.  He looked at me and said, “Hey!  So, you’re done working out?”  I turned to look behind me because A)I never think that anyone is talking to me and B)He was talking with the enthusiasm that one would use towards a long-lost best friend who has just dropped down from the sky.  But, no.  It was just me.

“Well, yeah,” I answered.  “I mean, I’m leaving and I wouldn’t be leaving if I weren’t done.”

“Oh, yeah.  So, you’re all finished then?”

“Yeah.  All finished.”

“Then, do you want my sandwich?”  (He had no sandwich, at least not one that I could see.)

“Do you even have a sandwich?”

“No.  Will you give me $2.17 so I can buy one?”

“Sorry, sir.  I don’t have any cash on me.” (Seriously, I didn’t.  My gym clothes don’t have pockets so I had no money on me.  I admired his approach so much that I would have given him whatever I had if that had been anything.)

“Well, you have a blessed day and keep up the good work.  You look nice.”

“You, too.  I hope you get your sandwich.”

Look what I found!

funny — Valerie on May 8, 2007 at 5:00 pm


Do you know who these people are????

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