The following conversation took place on gchat between myself and The Bearded MattWhite. You should know I spend a good portion of my time trying to wrangle in his complete disdain for grammar or punctuation conventions.
me: APOSTROPHES USE THEM
matthew: NO!!!
I DONT LIKE THEM!!!
me: I KNOW YOU DON’T
matthew: IF I BUILT PUNCTUATION CITY THERE WOULD BE BATHROOMS FOR THE APOSTROPHES AND BATHROOMS FOR THE REST OF PUNCTUATIONS
waterfountains too
From my tall-drink-of-water friend Hayley…
Do you by any chance know any clowns?
“Where’s the camera?”
“In one of the drawers where I keep things. What’s that thing called? In the bedroom? It’s tall and I keep things in it. DRESSER. Wow, that was hard to remember that word.”
—
It seems the placenta brain has set in, friends.
Being kidnapped
Santa Claus
Accidental pregnancy
How to do the Crip walk
Quite the hodgepodge, I would say.
I’ve watched this a million times since Sunday, but it’s still funny. Enjoy.
I have had a shitastic morning (I know! On a Saturday, no less!) but this helped a bit. Go here for more.
aahahaahahahahhahahahahahaahhahahhahaha. whoooooooo.
One of my responsibilities at work (one of my favorite ones, actually) is to help write profiles on the people to whom we attribute the quotes we run in our newsletters and what not. The next person on my list for today was Robert Yates. When I Googled his name, three options came up. And then the following conversation took place…
Me: Are we profiling Robert Yates the Anti-Federalist, Robert Yates the NASCAR guy, or Robert Yates the serial killer?
Co-worker: It’s the NASCAR guy - probably not as interesting as the serial killer but much more appropriate, morally speaking.
Me: Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine.
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“I feel like I know Valerie like a best friend. I think if I saw her in Ukrop’s, I’d be compelled to ask how Ross’s birthday was. Does she have a clue who I am? No.”
