Made in Richmond

(Others)

(I tried to make this not completely about the baby, but WTF, I’m largely pregnant. You wouldn’t be able to think/talk about anything else either.)

The baby’s room is *this close* to being finished. I would post pictures, but I can’t seem to locate the camera or the charger for its battery. I promise you will see it soon though.

We have our 4th childbirth class tonight. Last week we practiced patterned breathing, which basically involves me huffing and puffing for minute-long pretend contractions and Ross counting. I must say, Ross is a very good counter and even better and letting me know when I’m “halfway there.”

I’m predicting that my total weight gain will be about 40 pounds. At my last appointment my doctor said “You’ve gained about 25 pounds, but I don’t see it anywhere else but in your belly. So keep doing what you’re doing.” I must say, nothing makes me happier than we people tell me I’m “all baby.” Particularly when it’s a doctor.

Speaking of doctors, I interviewed a pediatrician yesterday. I felt like I was playing make-believe the entire time.

We were in the car other day, and Pearl Jam came on the radio. It honestly felt like the baby stood up, as if he/she was saying “WHAT IS THIS MAGNIFICENT MUSIC I AM HEARING?” Ross was very pleased.

There is spinach dip in our fridge that will go bad after the baby is born. I felt the need to celebrate when I saw that. Can you imagine how I will react when I buy milk with an expiration date after my due date?

Pregnancy Cold Part II is starting (see Part I here). The neti pot and I will need to reunite soon.

I somehow managed to get bit by a mosquito in between my index and middle knuckles on both hands (Ha! That wasn’t about the baby at all.)

I just realized that this blog celebrated its third birthday on Monday.

According to ivillage’s parenting advice, this blog:

• May sleep 10 to 12 hours at night
• Hops on one foot
• Walks a line
• Walks on tiptoes for a few steps
• Brushes teeth washes hands, retrieves own drink
• Puts on shoes (no laces)
• Completes a six-piece puzzle
• Draws simple shapes
• Enjoys helping with household tasks
• Follows simple directions
• Plays spontaneously with two or three children
• Identifies some common colors
• Counts to three
• Enjoys “pretend” games such as playing house
• Wets the bed at night occasionally
• Uses the toilet often and may need help (boys may not be toilet trained until later this year)
• Feeds self completely using a fork and spoon and can butter bread with a knife.
• Speaks in three- to five-word sentences
• Uses plurals (cats, dogs, etc.)
• May have difficulty getting some words out (not a sign of stuttering)
• Sings a simple tune
• Asks a lot of the “Five W” questions
• Demonstrates a three-minute attention span
• Remembers yesterday’s happenings
• Understands some dangers, such as moving cars
• Feels shame when caught doing something wrong
• Is interested in similarities and differences
• Understands difference between self and younger children
• Doesn’t understand difference between self and older children
• May show preference for opposite sex parent
• Develops sense of humor and enjoys making people laugh

Hmmm. We seem to be coming up short on a few of these things. I know I haven’t seem this blog hopping anywhere, that’s for sure.

When I saw this, I first thought “Oh my God, what a joke.”

And then I remembered who I am and said “Oh, please let it be true.”

The mural is almost finished. I go in there several times a day to stare at it because I love it so much.

We’re getting an invisible fence installed today. Quite an investment, yes. But if I have to spend one more evening do this, I might lose my mind.

The house is still a mess. I still don’t care. Mostly.

I made a discovery yesterday that might help with the sleeping, or lack thereof. The baby is quite settled and calm from 2pm to 4pm - so much so that I got to take an intense nap during that time yesterday. Obviously this won’t happen every day, but it’s good to know.

I mentioned a while ago that I left my job. I don’t really want to get into the specifics, but let’s just say it was time for me to leave. I am now working for Ross’s company and doing administrative work for my church. Both jobs give me a pretty flexible schedule and will allow me to work from home for a while when the baby is really tiny.

This is my new most favorite show ever. Followed closely by this. Ross approves of both.

I’m going to talk about peeing now. Specifically me peeing. Just so you know.

Now that I’m 32 effing weeks pregnant (!!!) I have to go to the doctor every two weeks. So, this afternoon I made the treck out to the West End for what felt like the 11 millionth time. They called me back, asking me to make my customary stop in the restroom to provide a urine sample.

Some of you may not know that when you get pregnant, you pee in a cup every time you go to the doctor. Every. time. And usually peeing in a cup is not that difficult.

That is, until you approach the end of your pregnancy and you can’t so much see certain parts of your body anymore.

Let me preface this by saying that last time I had to give my urine sample, my belly was still small enough that the involved parts were still in view - not full view, but I was usually able to get them into my peripheral vision.

Today? Not so much.

I was aware that the baby had undergone quite a growth spurt over the last couple weeks, but I hadn’t thought about how this would affect my ability to perform when called upon.

So, when presented with the task, there was much bending, twisting, and contorting, just so I could get a view of what I was doing. But to no avail. There was nothing else I could do but make a rough estimate and hope that my own body hadn’t become so foreign to me that I 1) peed all over my hand and 2) had to tell the nurse that I couldn’t see what I was doing and needed to try again later.

Luckily, I made it into the cup. Although I don’t know what I was worried about. It’s not like doing it again would have been such a stretch. The baby’s head is pushing solidly against my bladder, causing me to run to the bathroom every 20 minutes.

I had some dignity once upon a time, too.

If you’re not using a bathroom consistently, make sure you at least periodically run water through the sink, shower, and toilet. Otherwise the whole house will start to smell like poop.

You’re welcome.

When I was little, I used to watch The Waltons* a lot. A LOT. I know, I blame my mother.

During one episode**, John Boy goes to the stay in The Big City - they didn’t call it that, but I couldn’t remember if it was *actually* a big city or some city that just happened to be close by. Before he goes, his mother packs him a supply of sandwiches (in waxed paper of course) so he wouldn’t have to spend all of his money on dining out at big city restaurants that were sure to be rife with riff raff.

So John Boy goes to The Big City and ends up staying in a boarding house. During his time in The Big City, John Boy gets robbed! They talk all of his money and give him a black eye and fat lip. So poor John Boy is left with no money, rent to pay, and a dwindling supply of pathetic, little sandwiches.

Eventually rent is due, so John Boy has to go see the owner of the boarding house and ask to stay there for free for a couple days  - but of course he’ll pay the money back, he’s a Walton, not some hoodlum. When he’s asking he has to say something horribly pitiful like “I just got robbed, I have no money, and I only have two sandwiches left,” navigating his pitiful words around his pitiful fat lip. The boarding house owner says no, but thankfully some City Woman also staying at the boarding house overhears the conversation and gives John Boy some money to cover his rent.

For some reason that image of John Boy standing in the parlor of the boarding house with his fat lip and stupid little sandiwches, having to ask for a break with the rent broke my heart. It made me 1) never have to be in a position like that and 2) never want to watch someone be in a position like that.***

So thank you, The Waltons. Thank you.

*I can still name all 7 Walton children (I did have to check Wikipedia for one of them - Jason Walton, how could I forget you - you were the musician!)

**I was 8 when I saw the episode, so the details are a little hazy. But the pity I felt? I still feel it *right here.*

***I told Ross about this for the first time yesterday while we in the car on the way up to Ikea. I had packed the sorriest excuse for a peanut butter sandwich to eat on the way up. As I sat nibbling on it, the feeling I got while watching that episode for the first time smacked me in the face. So, I thought I would share this unknown tidbit about myself with my husband of 5 years. Marriage to me, the twists and turns never end.

(Thanks to Patience for linking to it here.)

Smallville. Oh, Smallville, I fought you in the beginning, but you were my only form of entertainment for the 2 1/2 weeks we spent waiting for our FiOs hookup. Now you are all I think about.

The color of the baby’s room. It’s called Vintage Orange. People doubted us, but OMG it looks so happy.

Cinnamon toast. No explanation needed.

Our new quiet street. Remember all of those posts about incessant barking? Shooter barely makes a peep all day, what with the lack of constant riffraff outside our door.

That it’s September. That means it’s almost fall, which means it’s almost my birthday, which is just a few weeks before the wee babe makes his/her arrival.

Scene 1: Soda fountain at Arby’s

As I’m standing there filling up my cup of caffeine free root beer, a woman of about 60 lines up next to me. At first I think nothing of it. But the I start to realize that she’s starting to violate the social contract of how much personal space the average person prefers. I also notice that she’s intently looking at my belly, my face, my belly, and my face again. Giving in, I turn to face her. She takes one more look at my belly and says three words to me…

“Carrying low. Boy.”

***

Scene 2: The discount tables outside of Linens ‘n’ Things

I’m shuffling through a display of super cheap hand towels when I notice two women standing just to my right. They are blatantly pointing at me and discussing something enthusiastically. Eventually they make their way over to where I’m trying to ignore them. One finally speaks up…

“Excuse me, what are you having?”

“We didn’t find out.”

“Oh, because it’s definitely a girl because you’re carrying so low.”

Right.