Not counting the bread incident last night, here are some things that have brought me to tears over the last 24 hours…
-Jon & Kate plus 8.
-Work.
-The pile of laundry on the bedroom floor.
-Ross getting Pho for lunch with one of his friends. I don’t even like Pho.
-Shooter barking constantly.
-Not having as big a belly as the women that show up when I Google images of “16 week pregnant belly” and automatically thinking something is wrong with me.
-The prospect of shaving my legs.
When using the bread maker to make bread, it’s helpful to put the ingredients into the loaf pan that you left sitting in the sink, rather into the actual cavity of the machine. This way you won’t have to spend 10 minutes VACUUMING out the blasted machine while crying in your kitchen.
I am taking a break and will try again in a moment.
I’d really appreciate it if you’d stop screeching for the entire night. And considering I will most likely be a blubbery, whiny mess from not sleeping at all last night, I’m sure Ross would thank you, too. And my co-workers. And the population of the Metro-Richmond area.
Do you know how hard it is to scrub dog crap out of an 80 year old hardwood floor?
I do.
It’s very, very hard.
I didn’t sleep well Sunday night.
Or Monday night.
Or Tuesday night.
Or, you guessed, Wednesday night.
I came home this evening and started crying because I needed to load the dishwasher and because I couldn’t stop hiccupping.
I managed to get in a 30 minute nap, so I’m feeling much more human.
I still have the hiccups though.
My wrist hurts like holy hell.
Aaaaaaand it looks like the bump is already back.
Awesome.
Looks like arthroscopic surgery is in my future.
Again, awesome.
This is what happens when I’m asked to peel the potatoes.
So I have one of these:
Except mine is on my right hand. And mine is smaller. And I don’t have a man hand.
The technical term is “ganglion cyst” but I prefer the more colloquial “bible bump.” They call them “bible bumps” because the preferred method of removal was to smash it with a giant book. True story.
I’ve had it for a couple years and until recently, it didn’t hurt. I didn’t even realize what it was until Dr. Oz talked about it on Oprah - he even has one, too! They are harmless and actually pretty common in women. But, they can be painful and if so, they need to be removed.
So, early in the morning before work on February 13th, I will go to an orthopedic doctor who will INJECT A GIANT NEEDLE into this bump to make it go away. Because getting injected with giant needles always makes things better.
I found out that simmering white vinegar for about 45 minutes works as an excellent on-the-fly air freshener.
I started my day with dog crap. Dog crap mixed with dog vomit. Tons of it. All in our office upstairs, not outside where it belongs.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
