Made in Richmond

I went to the gym today and just could not get myself moving.  I was on the treadmill at a speed much lower than I typically do and it just wasn’t happening.  I’ve been so exhausted the last few days and it’s really frustrating.  We’ve been really busy lately and I’m hoping it’s just the last few weeks catching up with me.

WARNING:

Please don’t buy this toothbrush. I didn’t include the brand because I don’t want to get sued. Well, really because I don’t remember. I don’t know why I even bought it. Yes I do. Because I’m a sucker when it comes to newfangled dental paraphernalia. This one has a rubberized tongue-scraper on the back. Never have a particularly needed a tongue-scraper, but I fell for the advertising that told me I did. When they market this tool to you, they fail to mention that this tongue scraper is capable of tearing up the inside of your mouth, which is what this one did to mine. I have canker sores (don’t click that link; it’s gross) and sore spots all over the place in there. Have you ever had one canker sore? Take that misery and multiply it by three, add TMJ and the result will be me. Me who can’t have Diet Coke or anything salty or citric until they clear up. Dam.Mit.

Is it possible for a 25 year old to have baby acne?  Because that’s what seems to be popping up on my face.  Not the acne of my adolescence, but a smaller, less noticeable but equally annoying version.  This presents a problem because, as the television tells me, moisturizing needs to be a priority starting your 20s and most acne washes dry you out like there is no tomorrow.  Luckily there is this:

This seems to keep things under control.   Now I just need a facial cleanser that can control my angsty mood swings as of late.  Bah.

I was just sitting here, reading some blogs and thinking about what a nice day I’ve had when I suddenly heard a sound that I haven’t heard for over two years.  That would be the sound of urine streaming onto carpet.  Specifically Zapp’s urine onto specifically our bedroom carpet.  Oh, and specifically onto some of my clothes that, yes, I like to keep on the floor.  All I could do was stare at her with my mouth hanging open.

This one is testing my patience.  Last night she jumped on the bed (apparently after a lovely time digging up our backyard), spreading mud and dirt and mulberry bits all over our yellow sheets.  I responded with “Zapp!  F***k!”  I’m not proud of my response, but it is what it is.  I am owning it and you would have said that same thing if she had done this right as you were about to climb into bed after a very exhausting week.

Well, it’s been over week since the Gum Chewing Punishment set in. I called the dentist last night and left a pitiful message asking them to call me back as soon as they could. I meant that as around 9:00am. They took it as 6:42am. At least they are efficient.

Anyway, I can’t get in until Wednesday afternoon. All they are going to do is tell me that I need a NightGuard. The same NightGuard that my insurance still won’t pay for. Luckily I have some black market connections so I might be able to get one eventually. I’m basically going in the hopes of getting an official diagnosis of *something* and some advice on how to deal with the pain in general. Until then I’ve been ordered to not chew gum and to avoid any foods that can’t be sufficiently mushed up with my tongue. Awesome.

Upon pulling up to the drive thru window, I had this conversation…

Cashier: Here ya go. I’m trying to hurry because I really have to take a sh*t.

Me: *blink* *blink*

I woke up this morning feeling like I had gotten punched in the face I knew it couldn’t have been Ross (this time, at least) because he was off saving Richmond last night. I spent all day trying to figure out exactly why it hurt to both open *and* close my mouth.

See, I have the TMJ. Well, actually, we all have the TMJ. For some reason, having a problem with your TMJ is described by simply stating that you have the particular joint causing you aches and pains. It’s like instead of saying you have a headache, you would just say you have a head. I actually have TMJD which is far worse than just having the joint. I developed this in college with it first making its appearance in the form of me waking up at 3:00am in a complete panic because I couldn’t open or close my mouth. Seriously, it’s like someone comes along, wires your mouth shut, and kicks you in the jaw just to make sure you’ve been completely crippled by the pain.

TMJD tends to be pretty cyclical with it’s symptoms and mine hasn’t flared up in quite a long time. Episodes come along with stress…or with eating anything chewy like gum, gummi bears, gummi worms, really anything that might have gum in it. Basically anything fun and wonderful.

Well, I realized I had gum yesterday. Actually, approximately 40 hours ago and I probably chewed it for all of 10 minutes. And I’m still experiencing throbbing, soul-splitting pain in my jaw. I mean, come on. Is this really necessary or in anyway proportionate to what I did? It’s like slicing the skin between someone’s toes with a dirty screwdriver because she wore flip-flops.

So, I will spend much of today and tomorrow with a heating pad on my face, cursing the good Lord for creating the gum tree whose sweet, sweet nectar taunts me so.

I’m sorry if you were one of the people bombarded by a comment about me. I have no idea who this person is and I don’t care. I’m just sorry that you have random comments on your posts now. I just think it’s incredibly lame that someone has nothing better to do than not only harass me, but also harass the people who know me, on here or in meatspace. I’m sorry for the inconvenience and hopefully this person is satisfied with all of the annoyance he/she has caused. If you want to be taken off of my blog roll, I understand. Just let me know.

I’ve decided to enable the option on blogger that requires me to moderate comments made here. I’m only doing this because some people have nothing better to do with their time than be idiots, and I don’t want my relevant and productive audience to have to read their asinine comments. I guess this means I’m famous now since I have strangers who hate me. It’s the price you pay, friends. It’s the price you pay.

I’m getting a really bad feeling that I didn’t get the integrator job. Now I am scared to death because that would mean having to actually find a job. As in, looking in the newspaper and equivalents in order to find positions that are somewhat related to my skill set. I AM NOT GOOD AT THAT. I have gotten every job I’ve ever applied for and I don’t know how I will react if I don’t get this one. I’m absolutely terrified of not having job-it’s almost crippling to the point where I don’t want to do anything about it. Teachers have job security like none other and it makes me nervous to let that go. I think I’m going to hyperventilate and throw up at the same time. It’s especially frustrating because part of me is saying, “Just forget it. Keep teaching. You like it and it’s stable.” I want to punch that part in the face.