Made in Richmond

So yeah , I’ve been thinking about this whole Taylor Behl thing going on in Richmond. Being that I am a selfish, self-centered twenty-something, I automatically assume what I would do if I were ever abducted. My optimistic side is clearly convinced that I would escape and quickly find a pay phone. But that’s where I’m really screwed. Due to the luxuries of cell phone technology, I actually only know 5 phone numbers. They include the following:

a. My parents’ old house that they don’t live in anymore
b. My friend Matt’s parents’ house
c. My friend Matthew’s parents’ house
d. My hair salon
e. The Call 12 hotline to get information about school closings.

Hopefully if something happens to me, my friends’ parents will be able to help me out. Naturally of course you’re asking, “Well, Valerie, why don’t you just call the police?” That of course would be the logical thing to do, but it doesn’t play well into my dramatic scenario. So now I’m going to write down any important numbers I need and keep it in my wallet. I’m sure my kidnappers will be nice enough to let me fish it out before they carry me off in a burlap sack. Thank you and good night!