Ross and I spent a lovely Friday evening getting fat. We ate taquitos, fritos, Doritos, Oreos, and other foods ending with “o”. As we gobbled down our O food, we watched our latest NetFlix arrival, West Side Story. I warned Ross that I would be singing for the entire 2 hours and 20 minutes, and he assured me that he remembered the movie and knew the songs, too. How could I have been so stupid?
As we watched the Overture (yes, there is an overture in the movie), he asked me how that song went that the guy and the girl sang to each other.
Ross: Does it go, “When you get stuck between the moon and New York City…”?
Me: No. That’s from Arthur. This movie is a little different.
Realizing the “hilarity” of his mistake, he obviously ran with it, insisting that was the song they sang for each other and kept asking as the movie went on when they were going to sing that song.
As we watched the conflict between the Jets and the Sharks unfold, Ross made an emphatic delcaration.
Ross: Benny and the Jets can never defeat the Sharks. The Sharks are Puerto Rican so they are much cooler.
Me: Benny and the Jets was actually an Elton John song and there is no one in the movie named Benny.
More recgonition of his “hilariousness” ensued and he spent most of the rest of the movie making this declaration. That is, until he got bored and said he was done watching the movie. I fooled him and told him he was going to miss the dramatic climax (keep in mind that this was after everyone has been killed and all of the frantic running, singing, and dancing had commenced). As the credits ran after the somber reconcilliation of the two gangs, I felt some satisfaction for making Ross watch the last few minutes during which I’m sure he was thinking, “When is someone gonna freak out and kill everyone?”
I spent some time last night thinking about why watching movies with Ross is what it is. When agreeing to watch a movie with him, you are agreeing to spend the majority of the movie identifying people for him and correcting his misconceptions about what is going on. I tell myself that this happens, not because he is lacking intelligence, but rather he has so much information packed into his brain from reading the Internet all day that things are bound to get mixed up. Yeah.
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