A letter

Dear dogs (you a-holes),

I know it’s raining. I’ve been lugging a 23+ pound child in and out of the rain all day. I am aware.

I am also aware of the fact that perhaps squidgy grass does not feel exactly pleasant on your dainty feet, so maybe going outside isn’t so much fun. But you see, the thing is, if you would do your “business” right when you get outside, rather than tiptoeing around with a look of disdain on your face while whimpering and then quickly bounding inside without relieving yourselves, you wouldn’t then turn to me 3 minutes later with an “Oh sh*t!” look on your face and leap for the door, only to repeat the previously outlined and annoying-as-hell routine.


That Lady Who Was Screaming “GOOOOOOOOO!” At You All Evening

PS – Stop using my couch as a towel.

7 thoughts on “A letter

  1. My sister and her dog are living with us, and he keeps doing the same thing. He has a little more reason due to the fact that he’s hairless… however, she had to physically go outside with him to get him to go yesterday. We think he hadn’t gone since the rain started. Crazy dogs. You roll in and/or eat poop, yet you can do your business when it’s raining??!!!

  2. My dog does the same thing! She once went 18 hours w/out going to the bathroom. We even have a little covered spot in the mulch but she won’t go. She does pee from excitement at the drop of a hat. Not sure how she can hold it for so long but lose it so quickly when she sees a new person.

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