Dear dogs (you a-holes),
I know it’s raining. I’ve been lugging a 23+ pound child in and out of the rain all day. I am aware.
I am also aware of the fact that perhaps squidgy grass does not feel exactly pleasant on your dainty feet, so maybe going outside isn’t so much fun. But you see, the thing is, if you would do your “business” right when you get outside, rather than tiptoeing around with a look of disdain on your face while whimpering and then quickly bounding inside without relieving yourselves, you wouldn’t then turn to me 3 minutes later with an “Oh sh*t!” look on your face and leap for the door, only to repeat the previously outlined and annoying-as-hell routine.
That Lady Who Was Screaming “GOOOOOOOOO!” At You All Evening
PS – Stop using my couch as a towel.