Made in Richmond

(Costume based on this tutorial from Mighty Girl)

I’m not a big music fan. I mean, I *like* it and I’ll listen to pretty much anything, but oftentimes I’m just as happy sitting in silence.

But I have a few life moments that are unavoidably attached to a specific song. With JR’s third (!!!) birthday coming up, one keeps popping up in my mind.

In early March 2008, I was in the car on the way back to the office with a pregnancy test sitting in the seat beside me. This song came on the radio, the background music to my tearful whispers of “Please, please, please…” And I will always connect it to the moments before I found out that I was going to be a mama.

Do you have a song/moment like that? I’d love to hear about it.

A recent text message conversation between Ross and I while he was in
Blacksburg at a football game.

He cries through dinner.

No. He screams through dinner.

In fact, there really ISN’T a dinner because of his screaming.

He fights me through washing up, brushing his teeth, and putting on his pajamas.

He runs away when I ask him to get into bed, screaming “NO!” in the way only toddlers can.

Each attempt to read a book is met with a snotty, “I don’t LIKE that one!”

Each attempt to sing a song is met with a whiny, “No, the DIFFERENT song,” even though he can’t tell me which song the “DIFFERENT” song is.

Once the lights are off and the door is shut, the stalling tactics start: requests to go potty, get a drink, get a tissue.

Then more tears. More screaming.

More exasperated sighs and muttering under my breath. I just don’t want to go back in there. I’m spent. I have nothing left.

And yet.

Every time I think I’m done, the dam of frustration built up in my chest cracks just enough to fill me with a little bit more of whatever it is I need to go back in there and be what he needs me to be, give him what he needs me to give.

This time it’s a cuddle in the rocking chair. Just one more song. Just to sit with him a little longer.

Does he deserve it? Probably not. But seeing his little hand in mine, his eyes fluttering as he fights off sleep — open, shut, open, shut — reminds me of the gift he is, the gift I probably don’t deserve either.

JR,

I’ve always told people that kids can just TELL when you’re about to send them up the river because right at that moment, their behavior changes and you remember why you intentionally entered into the parent-child relationship to begin with.

As I mention in last month’s later, we were experiencing some challenges with you. Well, right after I hit publish, we entered an almost month-long phase of things being pretty easy. Save the epic temper tantrum you threw today, that’s basically how things are right now.

Don’t get me wrong, you still have your moments, but overall you’re just a really enjoyable kid.

***

Daddy went on a couple trips this month, which was interesting. The first trip was just for two nights, but the second trip was for FIVE. It was very hard to take care of you by myself for that long, but we eventually found a rhythm. I think his next trip will be much easier on us. And looking back, it was nice to have you to myself for a while — although I was VERY happy when your Daddy got home.

***

We’ve just hit a great milestone as far as potty training goes. I won’t get into specifics, but I think soon I’ll be able to reallocate the funds that we used to spend on diapers.

***

Your verbal development continues to amaze me. Very rarely do I not understand what you’re saying, and we have the longest conversations. You also continue to parrot a lot of what we say, which can be quite humbling at times.

***

Imaginative play is your favorite way to spend time (other than playing “baseball” with your Daddy). You love to play restaurant and store, and LOVE when you get to be the cashier/serve because it means you get to use a PEN! or type on the COMPUTER! However, your customer service skills leave a little to be desired. Remember, it’s “What can I get for you?” not “What do you want?” and “Your total is XYZ” not “Ok, gimme some money.” We’re working on it.

***

Last week we had a conference with your teachers because we’re getting ready to move you up to the preschool class. They had nothing but lovely things to say about you, particularly about how sweet you are with the other kids. Apparently you’ve been showing good leadership skills, organizing games of Ring Around the Rosie and corralling all of your friends when it’s time to go inside. I was worried they were saying that you were bossy, but they assured me that you’re always very kind about it. They also mentioned that you have zero interest in getting involved in physical confrontations with other kids (no hitting, biting, etc.); you just walk away. That’s a great thing for parents to hear. They are SO SAD for you to move up to the next class, and we are equally sad to say goodbye to them. They’ve done such a fantastic job caring for you over the last year.

***

One of your big events this month was going to the pumpkin patch. You and I went with your friend Jack and ran into your other friends, Sam, Ailey, and Myles while we were there. Up until this year we had always gotten our Halloween pumpkins at the grocery store, but I figured that since you’re getting older, it was time for the real deal. You had a fantastic time and even took a couple runs through the hay bale maze they had set up at the pumpkin farm. We had a really fun day and I can’t wait to do it again.

Obviously our visit to the pumpkin patch means we’re getting ready for Halloween, and you are extremely excited. You asked to be a “red fishy” this year, and I actually managed to make your costume (I’ll post pictures after the big day). We’ve been talking a lot about the order of how things go with Halloween: first you pick the pumpkin, then you carve the pumpkin, then you eat the seeds, then you put on your costume, then you go trick-or-treating, THEN you eat candy. You’d like to eat the seeds and candy now, but you’re doing a very good job at being patient.

And let’s be honest, you’re doing a very good job at being everything an almost three-year-old (!!!) should be: chatty, infuriating, loving, emotional, hilarious, and so sweet.

Way to go, kid.

Love,

Mama

I know I apologized for image-only entries in my last post, but good gravy. My heeeeaaaaart.

(Also: Go Hokies)

I figured you all could use a break from cop-out posts of pictures and links to other things. So I’m giving you my big face and dumb voice! (As the title of this post suggests.)

I explain the whole reason why I’m subjecting you to these things in the actual video, so you can watch it to find out. But here are three things I learned from watching it myself…

1. When I am uncomfortable with a word (for whatever reason) I MUST say it in a weird way. For example, I don’t *really* say “blog” as “blaaaaahg.” I mean, I do, but it’s on purpose. Because I just do.
2. I am possibly a bad daughter?
3. My mouth moves funny when I talk.

Ok, so here’s the video. Isn’t the freeze frame fantastic?

Here’s the deal if you want to make your own…

The instructions are to say these words:
Aunt, Route, Wash, Oil, Theater, Iron, Salmon, Caramel, Fire, Water, Sure, Data, Ruin, Crayon, Toilet, New Orleans, Pecan, Both, Again, Probably, Spitting image, Alabama, Lawyer, Coupon, Mayonnaise, Syrup, Pajamas, Caught

And answer these questions:

What is it called when you throw toilet paper on a house?
What is the bug that when you touch it, it curls into a ball?
What is the bubbly carbonated drink called?
What do you call gym shoes?
What do you say to address a group of people?
What do you call the kind of spider that has an oval-shaped body and extremely long legs?
What do you call your grandparents?
What do you call the wheeled contraption in which you carry groceries at the supermarket?
What do you call it when rain falls while the sun is shining?
What is the thing you use to change the TV channel?

Perhaps one of the reasons I’m having a hard time keeping up with posts here is because I keep writing stuff for other places.

Here’s a quick round-up, should you be interested:

First I wrote about eating burgers.

Then I wrote about poop (this isn’t related to the first one).

Next up was a weather exhibit at our local Children’s Museum.

That was followed by a piece about JR’s dog named “Bunn”.

Then we had a bit about a local event that gives toddlers access to heavy machinery.

And finally, I lost my mind whilst parenting JR on my own.

Happy reading!

We’re closing in on 6 months into Mission: Fixin’ The Sads, so I figured it was time for an update.

In short, things are really good. Sleeping can still be a bit of a challenge, but overall I feel calm and pleasant most days.

That is when I remember to take my medicine.

The things is, when I start feeling better, I tend to forget to take my medicine. You see, gone are the earlier days when I would stare at the clock, willing it to turn faster so it would be time for my next dose (yes, things were a tad desperate there for a bit).

On the days I *do* forget, by the time I remember to take it, I’m feeling…well, not so good. And by “not so good” I mean “OMG WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIIIIIIIIIE.” From there it can take a good 12 to 24 hours before I’m in good, working condition.

One the one hand, I think it’s great that I’m feeling better; that means the medicine is working and confirms my decision to go on it again.

On the other, I get really pissed off at the fact that missing just one dose completely floors me. And those days that I do forget, I live in fear of someone asking me, “Hey, did you forget to take your medicine?” Because it makes me feel like a crazy person that has to be handled. As in, “Oh look, there’s Ol’ Loony Val. She must’ve forgotten to take her crazy pills today.”

(For the record, no one has actually called me “Ol’ Loony Val.” At least not to my face. And really, I don’t mind the idea of *eventually* being called that. Like when I’m 90 or something and I’ve earned the term “loony” just from not giving a shit about what people think, rather than actually *being* loony.)

So there we are with that. I’ll go back for a follow-up some time this month. I’m excited to tell my doctor that things are good. But I’m dreading the part when he tells me that I’m going to need to stay on the medication for a good while longer…because I know he’s going to say that. Truth, what’s with you sucking so much sometimes?

Anyway, how are all your brains lately?

I’ve been solo parenting since Thursday afternoon, and I’m just about dead. I seriously don’t understand how some people do this every. single. day.

Anyway, I’ll be back soon, but right now I need to go pass out in my bed. For forever.