Made in Richmond

Because I know you all care so much.

I’ve been on the topical stuff for a little over a week and I can already see a difference. I’ve had no irritation whatsoever. None. Zero. Huzzah! Things are balancing out, my face no longer hurts, and I’m feeling pretty, pretty good.

While I have still gotten a couple blemishes, they are totally small and manageable (I imagine that people like Taylor Swift or Alexis Bledel get zits like this). More zits are to be expected with topical treatments at first — they tend to draw the bad stuff up and out — but it hasn’t been anywhere near as bad as I thought it would be. That could all change in the coming weeks, but I’m pleased so far. Apparently it takes four weeks to really see the results, so hopefully things only get better from here.

With things clearing up, however, I’ve finally been able to determine what spots were blemishes and what spots were scars. And, well, a lot of them were scars. Not much I can do about that now. Or maybe ever? I don’t know how I feel about things involving “chemicals” and “peels” and “lasers.” For now, I’ll stick to “concealers” and “not really caring.”

So we just finished season 5 of Lost.

We watched the first two seasons via Netflix a long time ago, but I lost interest at the start of season three. Ross hung on for a bit but abandoned ship around the time the writer’s strike hit.

But, knowing that the show was almost over and that people were singing its praises once again, we decided to give a second chance. We’ve spent the last couple months starting from the very beginning (which I highly recommend considering all of the craziness that goes on with it).

After spending several weeks engaging in an intense study of Sawyer’s perfection the show, I’ve made several observations that I would like to share with you. Don’t worry, no spoilers here.

1. They love the “I’m pointing a gun at you and you’re pointing a gun at me and then a gun goes off but it’s neither of ours because someone out of the shot actually fired *their* gun and now you’re dead” trick.

2. When in doubt, blame Daddy.

3. Kate sucks.*

4. All conversations must begin with “Hello, _________.”

5. Just because you’re a main character does not mean you won’t die.

6. Kate still sucks.

7. They are really good at casting the younger versions of characters (ex: young Charles Widmore and old Charles Widmore)

8. What’s up with the eyeliner, Richard?

9. Hey, Kate, way to keep going with the sucking.

10. How is that damn dog still alive?**

*The character, not the actress. I think she’s adorable.
**I have nothing against dogs. He is also adorable. But really. SO MANY PEOPLE DIE, but chubby yellow lab makes it? And mysteriously remains chubby?

For the past few months we’ve kind of been in limbo in regards to child care.

We’ve had three (THREE!) babysitters since October. Each one of them was helping us out while looking for a more permanent, full-time job. And what do you know? Every last one of them found one. Do you want to know how to solve the unemployment problem in this country? Anyone looking for a job should come spend five minutes with JR. They will be employed in a matter of days.

So, daycare it is.

After many (many, many, good Lord, so many) phone calls, we managed to track down a center at a local church that we’re comfortable with AND will not put us in the poorhouse. Well, not the really crummy poorhouse, anyway. The nicer poorhouse.

This will mean a change to my working schedule. Instead of 2 days in the office and working from home the rest of the week, I’ll have 3 1/2 to 4 days in the office (and more if necessary). This new schedule will free me up in the evening (somewhat), making our time together less of a struggle of what wants to get done and what needs to get done. And with JR now being a one-nap man (!) that struggle was going to inevitably get more and more tense.

But more so than the logistical things, this is kind of a world-shift for JR who has spent every day of his life just hanging out with adults. He’ll be in a class where they have circle time. He’ll have a little nap mat and a cubby with things in it. He’ll have friends.

To me, this situation pretty much encompasses what this whole parenting gig is about: hard choices, being brave, and letting go a little bit so your kid gets the chance to come into his own.

Yes, this is good. But, oh my, how I will miss him.

Most people who know me in real life and talk to me on a regular basis are probably thinking “AUGGGH, she’s going to talk about Lady Gaga again?”

Yes, yes I am.

Until a couple months ago, I really had no clue who Lady Gaga was. But somehow she managed to sneak her way into my brain and consume about 54% of my thoughts.

Guys, I think she’s a genius.

Not necessarily a musical genius (although I do love her music). Like a genius-genius.

Here’s why…

Before she was Lady Gaga, she was Stefani Germanotta and sang songs like this:

Then one day I guess, she decided that the long brown hair/long dress combo wasn’t going to stand out. So she became who she is today and makes music/video/batshit crazy spectacles like this:

And now she’s a bagagillionaire and has legions of fans (whom she calls “monsters) who’ll wear big bows in their hair to make her happy. I can never tell if she’s serious or if she’s being ironic.

Either way, she might be my hero?

I’m on a roll!

Since she loves these so much, I decided to do one for her.

1. Tina’s full name is Christina. This is important for you to know for some reason.
2. We met at my old job.
3. There was much commiserating over lunch.
4. Tina’s favorite movie is Independence Day.
5. She has memorize The Speech.
6. She loves disaster movies.
7. The second I left the theater after seeing 2012, I texted her in all caps, telling her she needed to see it.
8. Tina went to my rival-ish high school.
9. She knew a lot the same people I know now.
10. Tina has a boyfriend named Nathan.
11. He is a kook.
12. But he is delightful.
13. Tina says “delightful” a lot.
14. I find it delightful.
15. Tina LOVES flats.
16. She came to work one day and said she watched Victoria Beckham’s TV special.
17. Victoria said she hated people who wear flats.
18. Tina was personally offended.
19. “Douchebag” is one of Tina’s favorite words.
20. That and “douchebaggery.”
21. Tina is one of the hardest working people I know.
22. I will punch you if you don’t recognize that.
23. Tina has recently started running.
24. In fact, she is going to run a half marathon.
25. I’m very impressed by this.
26. I don’t understand it.
27. But I’m impressed.
28. Tina has a younger brother and a younger sister.
29. She is very protective of them.
30. Actually, she’s very protective of most people.
31. Tina hates it when people refer to their feet as “dogs.”
32. She especially hates it when people say their “dogs” are “barking.”
33. She also hates it when people say “We were slammed.”
34. I was sitting in Tina’s office the first time I felt JR move in my belly.
35. So I can never forget her.
36. The first time Tina met JR she held him for about 15 seconds.
37. Then she smiled and said “Ok, I’m done.”
38. That still cracks me up.
39. When we used to work together, Tina used to come into my office for her “4:30 Freak Out.”
40. Tina is very good about keeping in touch.
41. She is also very supportive.
42. That, my friends, is a winning combination.
43. One time, Tina’s father made her Halloween costume.
44. He dressed her up as Jessica Rabbit.
45. Hmmmm.
46. Tina calls her grandfather “Dad.”
47. I still don’t know why.
48. Much of Tina’s family is from Scotland.
49. Like they actually live there.
50. This makes her much cooler than most of you.
51. Tina hates Miami.
52. She loves/loved Chris Brown.
53. She was very disappointed in him.
54. Tina recently built her very first website.
55. With code and everything.
56. I couldn’t do that, and I run an effing website.
57. See? Impressive.
58. Tina talks about the people on Real Housewives of Orange County like she knows them.
59. I do this, too, so I appreciate it.
60. When we had lunch together, we would go to El Paso a lot.
61. She would always order Chicken Nachos.
62. Tina loves her some Chicken Nachos.
63. Now whenever I see Chicken Nachos on any menu, I think of her.
64. Tina used to be a cheerleader.
65. She cheered at the Pro-Bowl once.
66. I have no idea what that means, but it sounded (again) impressive.
67. Once at our old job, we worked on a really big project together.
68. Tina was in charge.
69. When we finished, she bought me a present.
70. She also wrote me a thank you note.
71. I still have it.
72. She’s a class act, that one.
73. When Tina is angry, she says she’s full of rage.
74. When I was pregnant, she felt that I had rage as well.
75. She told me that it worried her.
76. But I think she also kind of enjoyed it.
77. Tina has a picture of herself holding a monkey in her Facebook photos.
78. It makes me jealous.
79. But I guess if one of my friends got to hold a monkey before me, I’m glad it was her.
80. Tina sends me links to things that remind her of me.
81. Or with phrases like “You’d appreciate this.”
82. I love it when people do that, so I love getting emails from her.
83. Tina doesn’t seem to mind too much when I IM her even if her status message says she’s busy.
84. (Even if she did, I would do it anyway.)
85. I always start our IM conversations with “TINA.”
86. She doesn’t seem to mind that either.
87. I feel like she humors me a lot.
88. Like when she’d listen about my dream for it to be socially acceptable to hit people I don’t like with pies.
89. She even laughed sometimes.
90. Tina’s last name is also the name of a tribe mentioned in Nehemiah.
91. (I only know this because our pastor preached from it one time).
92. When I told her, she said, “What? Amazing! I had no idea I was in the Bible. I am a tribe!”
93. She seemed so happy.
94. Tina also hates when people call appetizers “apps.”
95. So basically her hell would be a busy restaurant in Miami where the servers are bringing us apps and complaining about it being slammed and how their dogs are barking.
96. Don’t think I don’t say these things to her every chance I get.
97. Tina has a tendency to quickly reveal the things that bother her.
98. And mean people like me use it against her immediately and often.
99. But she forgives me and still talks to me.
100. Because she’s a peach.

(Remember when I said I was going to do these and then I did two and stopped? Well, I’m trying again.)

1. Stephanie was my roommate freshman and sophomore year of college at University of Richmond.
2. We were randomly paired up.
3. Before school started in August of 1999 (GAWD!), we decided to meet up and get to know each other.
4. While talking on the phone to set up our meeting, Stephanie described herself as “small and with red hair.”
5. She wasn’t lying.
6. Stephanie grew up in Rocky Mount, North Carolina.
7. She has a younger sister named Megan.
8. Her dad is named Mike and her mom is named Beverly.
9. I see them very, very rarely but I care for them very much.
10. One of Stephanie’s grandmothers is called G-Mom.
11. I’ve never met her, but I also care for her because I know she helped make Stephanie awesome.
12. Stephanie still sleeps with her baby pillow.
13. His name (yes, it’s a he) is “Pella.”
14. Stephanie is one of those people who can write a 10-page paper in 5 seconds.
15. This drove me crazy in college.
16. Once during freshman year, I walked into our room, thinking no one was there. Then I heard slight giggling. It was Stephanie. Hiding under the bed.
17. These guys we were friends with used to change Stephanie’s screensaver to slide shows of REALLY inappropriate images.
18. They would also set a password on it so she couldn’t change it.
19. This made her very angry (and made me laugh).
20. Another time we put put Stephanie in a bag with her head sticking out and left in front of our friend Erin’s dorm room. We knocked and ran away. When Erin answered the door, Steph just looked up, smiled, and said, “Hey.”
21. Stephanie used to have this as a bedtime snack every night: a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter.
22. At one point this dude we knew slept on our floor for two solid weeks. Neither one of us knew why.
23. Stephanie could sleep through a screeching alarm.
24. Yet she would promptly awaken if I whispered her name (even if the alarm was blaring).
25. Stephanie has the attention span of a gnat.
26. I love this about her.
27. We had a friend in school who used to call Stephanie “Pocket Friend.”
28. Stephanie was a cheerleader for about 12 seconds.
29. She was a leadership major and business minor.
30. At one point she did a leadership project with Baker’s Crust.
31. This involved her getting up batshit crazy early to go hang out there.
32. Her doing so confirmed my complete lack of interest in being a leadership major.
33. Stephanie cannot pronounce “statistics.”
34. She also says “idear” instead of “idea.”
35. She is amazing at remembering birthdays.
36. She sends the best cards, birthday-related and not.
37. She was the first person I called after leaving the doctors appointment when my pregnancy with JR was confirmed.
38. I told her to sit down and she immediately said, “You’re pregnant!”
39. I missed her very much at that moment.
40. She hasn’t lived in Richmond for a while.
41. She stayed here for a bit after graduating.
42. But then she moved to Savannah for a while.
43. Before heading up to the DC area.
44. She is a business banker.
45. For the longest time, I thought she was saying “business maker.”
46. One time a guy wrote Stephanie a poem.
47. He signed it with “Thanks! Todd.”
48. Ross and I still say that to each other.
49. Stephanie is incapable of learning a foreign language.
50. No, seriously, she took a test and everything.
51. She tried, really she did.
52. It just didn’t work out.
53. She’s also on a mission to bring back regular Coke.
54. When you weigh 100 pounds no matter what you do, I guess you can be on a mission like that.
55. She loves America’s Next Top Model.
56. Her red hair gets really dark in the winter.
57. Despite being a redhead, she is not deathly pale.
58. She’s not even THAT freckly.
59. What a jerk.
60. Jk, she’s one of the least jerky people I know.
61. Stephanie will only call JR “Jackson.”
62. For some reason, this doesn’t annoy me at all.
63. It probably would if other people did it.
64. I think this shows that I kind of let Stephanie be the boss of me when she’s around.
65. She was the maid of honor in my wedding.
67. Her toast was very sweet.
68. Even though she kind of hated Ross for taking away her roommate.
69. She was kidding.
70. Sort of.
71. I’m pretty sure if I hadn’t married Ross so soon after graduating, Stephanie and I would have lived together.
72. And spend our days eating candy and drinking regular coke.
73. Sophomore year of college, Stephanie and I met Anna.
74. At some point Anna starting calling Stephanie “Phanie.” As in “fanny.”
75. Stephanie is not a huge fan of this.
76. But we call her this anyway.
77. Because what is she going to do, beat us up?
78. She weighs four pounds.
79. Stephanie loves, loves, loves Ally McBeal.
80. Ross and I stayed with Stephanie one night when we had to be at Dulles early the next morning.
81. We watched Legally Blond II: Red, White and Blond.
82. It was awful.
83. We still blame Stephanie to this day.
84. She once hosted a “rock star” party.
85. I went, drank too much, and asked all of my friends how much money they make.
86. But this list isn’t about me.
87. Stephanie’s middle name is Anne.
88. So I call her Steffie Anne sometimes.
89. She doesn’t mind this as much as “Phanie.”
90. She LOVES the movie Dirty Dancing.
91. Her aunt was an extra in the final scene.
92. There were days that we watched that movie three or four times in a row.
93. That and Clueless.
94. We were stereotypical.
95. One time we were watching Sliding Doors with a bunch of friends.
96. Due to #25, I told Stephanie before the film started that she had to pay attention.
97. She didn’t.
98. Three-quarters of the way into the movie she turned to me and said, “Wait. They’re the same girl?”
99. If anyone else had done this, I would have punch him/her in the face.
100. But not her, because she’s my Stephanie. And to know her is to love her.

Ok, I know I’m kind of beating a dead horse with the whole clear skin thing, but hey, at least it’s a break from all the OMG HAVE Y’ALL SEEN MAH CUTE BAY-BEE???

Ahem.

So, skin it is.

I did something great this week. After much hemming and hawing, last week I bit the bullet and made an appointment with a dermatologist. By some miracle, even though I called on Tuesday, I manged to get to see someone today. See? Baby Jesus wants me to be pretty.

My reasoning behind this was “Hey, at some point I learned to stop coloring my own hair* and turn to a professional. My skin deserves the same treatment.” Plus we invest so much damn money to put healthy stuff *in* our bodies, I might as well take a similar approach to what I put *on* mine.

I went in with low expectations. I don’t have horrendous skin by any means and I was half expecting her to send me off with some product recommendations and her best wishes. My goal was to get some advice, a few dos and don’ts, that was about it.

Guys, this was one of the best doctors appointments I’ve ever had. There was no rushing; we had a conversation. I talked about how I feel like I’m in a completely different body since having JR and I just don’t know what to do with myself, physically. She looked me over carefully, discussed several options, and made her recommendations, complete with step-by-step instructions on how to care for my skin and what products to use.

So, here’s what we’re doing, in case you’re interested:

1. Cleanse with Cetaphil cleanser (my old friend).
2. Apply mild prescription topical treatment (generic form of Klaron) once a day. Increase to two times a day if my skin does well with it.
3. Follow up with Cetaphil moisturizer.
4. Become a glowing, dewy princess.

(I added that last part based on extrapolation of data.)

There is a slight chance that things could get somewhat worse before they get better, but that’s pretty commonplace. I’m excited.

And don’t think I won’t be giving you regular updates on this. THE PUBLIC NEEDS TO KNOW.

*Not that I do this anymore. I can’t diaper my child with cute highlights. Dammit.

JR,

Monday night you were having a hard time falling asleep. We’d had a busy day, your afternoon nap had been cut short thanks to a barking dog, and your evening routine was a little wonky thanks to some unexpected work I had to take care of.

When your dad put you in your crib you screamed. And screamed. And screeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaamed. I went in there a couple times to pat you on your back and calm you down. No dice. Finally, after a particularly raging scream, I picked you up and carried you over to the rocking chair.

You are not a cuddly child. But this time you just folded into me, tucked your blanket under your chin, and let out a long, relieved sigh. We sat like that for about 30 minutes. When I put you down, you went right to sleep.

I guess you just needed your Mama. And I was so proud to be that for you.

While I’ve loved you since I knew you were coming, for some reason, I’ve been feeling it so much this month - physically, almost, chest pains and all.

I think it’s because we’re finally getting to get a peek of who you are. New quirks and skills are popping up almost on a daily basis, and I hate to even miss a minute of it.

One special event that happened this month is that you got to spend time with your second cousins Sidney and Kellan. You met them a few weeks after you were born, but obviously you weren’t doing much then. It was fun to see you all play together because I remember having so much fun playing with their mama (my cousin) when we were little. When Kellan saw you he said “Hi, Baby.” Then he took your hand and led you over to show you his trains.

(As you can see, we only allow blond children into our family.)

Your biggest skill these days is walking. You’re all over the place, but you listen very well and don’t get into things too often. Except the plants. You love the plants. Particularly the dirt they come with.

Another completely adorable skills is brushing dirt off of your hands. I don’t know why this is so cute, but it kills me.

Your babbling is constant and hilarious. New words include “thank you” (more like “kank-oo”) and some sort of variation of “Cockadoodledoo.” Still no Mama, but lots of “Dad-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!”

The separation anxiety is pretty apparent these days, but mostly just in the evening when you’re tired. You want lots of hugs and don’t want much to do with anyone but me. Since your dad is usually cooking dinner at this time, it doesn’t seem to be a big deal at this point.

Books are still your favorite things. You definitely seem to prefer some to others right now. Goodnight Moon, Brown Bear, Mommy Kisses, and Touchdown! (a book from Mamaw) are your favorites. You actually pick them up and bring them over to us, which is pretty sweet.

It’s fun how now, when you want something, you’re better able at communicating it to us. For example, Friday afternoon you were toddling around the kitchen while I was at the counter catching up on some email. I heard you come up next to me, but didn’t look down. Suddenly a felt your little hand wrap around my index finger and give it a little tug. I looked down at you and you smiled and gave a little squeak. When I knelt down, you shuffled over, put your head on my chest, and gave me a hug, patting my arm the whole time.

And off you went again. Probably to go eat some dirt.

Love,

Mama

Ross and I watch TV shows in an odd way. Since we’re so busy all effing week every effing week (trust me, my gcal will make you weep, WEEP I TELL YOU), we just wait until a show is completely finished and spend late nights and weekends plowing through full seasons in no time.

Watching TV this way make you very aware of how characters and shows change from season to season. And I’ve discovered something about myself:

The first season of a show is always my favorite. Always. I’ll elaborate:

Battlestar Galactica
I think the first episode is one of the best things that has ever been on television. It’s genius. While I loved (loved, loved, looooooooooooved) the whole show, that first season is just spectacular to me.

Gilmore girls
I love Chilton Rory way more than Yale or taking-a-break-from-Yale Rory. Plus we didn’t see Christopher that much which was a good thing. Christopher, I’ll punch you in your dumb face, how ’bout that?

Firefly
Ok, this one doesn’t really count because it only lasted one season. BUT IT WAS SUBLIME.

Top Chef (and really any other reality show)
Sure, other seasons are good, but I love the first season because people don’t know what to expect. It just seems less contrived.

Dawson’s Creek
Joey bugged the HELL out of me in this season, but I think Pacey was at his cutest.

LOST
One word: Boone. I’ll say it again: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE.

I want to hear your thoughts on this. And if you have no idea what I’m talking about with any of those, well, clearly you’ve got some TV watching to do.

I just went in JR’s room to check on him.

When I knelt down to his crib, he stirred and sat up. He looked at me, smiled, stood up, rested his head on mine, and then plopped back down and went right back to sleep.

This kid…