Made in Richmond

For the last few evenings, JR has spent his last nursing session latching on for about a minute, pulling off, screaming, and diving back in again. Lather, rinse, repeat for about 20 more minutes until he either seems satisfied or gets so worked up that we give him a couple ounces of formula until he’s calmed down.

Adding to that, his other nursing times during the day are becoming a battle. He doesn’t want to sit still, preferring to roll around on the bed over curling up in my lap to eat. He doesn’t get frustrated – he’s just not particularly interested.

The only time it seems that he’s content to nurse is in the morning, and even then, he’s not taking as long as he used to. He gets straight to business and is ready to sit up and play on the bed with his dad. No more sweet baby sighs and curling his fingers around mine as he opens and closes his eyes sleepily.

It is making me so, so sad.

I KNOW! I never thought I would say that, especially after this post. But I am. What was once a struggle (hell, it was like a full time job most days) has become a complete joy most of the time. I know it sounds strange, but nursing JR makes me feel like we’re almost as close as we were when I carried him.

But he’s pulling away. The more I bring him towards me, the harder he pushes back. I know he’s telling me he’s ready for a change, to grow up a little more, to be less of a baby and more like a little boy. And while I know him growing up is a good thing, I don’t think my heart is quite ready to say goodbye to the baby him.

I can’t fully articulate how I’m feeling about this. So I’ll leave it to this talented lady. When I read this for the first time, I nodded a lot and cried even more.

So, I entered JR in a beautiful baby contest.

LET ME EXPLAIN.

One of the prizes is $529 invested in a 529 college savings plan. Who is going to willingly turn down the chance to get a contribution to her child’s education fund?

Now, I bet you all feel horrible for judging me, don’t you? Judgey McJudgersons. Shame on you.

So, if it comes to mind, head over to Richmondmom.com and vote for my sweet little guy. Or, if you don’t want to vote for him, vote for Ava because I know her and she is a cutie-pants.

(FYI, the page can be a little confusing. The link to vote is at the top of the page (you click it and then enter the name of the baby you’re voting for in the form) but the pictures are at the bottom of the page.)

Today has sucked. I’ve had a ton of work to do. I still have a ton of work to do. Plus, I’m home with the baby whom I love so dearly, but can be a bit of a distraction.

When I work from home, I have two blocks of time in which I can get things done, totalling up to roughly four hours. Yes, a full workday of things must be accomplished in half the time most people have. Usually that doesn’t happen, so I end up working for a few more hours once JR goes to bed.

And unfortunately, sometimes I work through the times that he’s awake during the day, times I usually try to put everything away and focus on him. I had to do that a lot today. A lot.

He held it together for a while. Playing on the floor with his little piano, munching on his lunch while sitting in his high chair that I had scooted over next to my desk, bopping around in his rocking chair while shrieking. But before his afternoon nap, I put him down to go answer the phone. He looked at me, his face crumpled, and he dissolved into a blubbery mess of tears, arms reaching up to me.

It was like he was saying, “Please, Mama. Just sit down and spend some time with me.”

And so I sat. We both cried a little bit more. A few kisses later, things were ok again. He’s now curled up in his crib asleep. I’m down here writing this instead of doing the rest of the work I have to do. Somehow, by writing this, I feel like I’m apologizing to him for not being the best mother for him today.

1. Staying up late working on things that could wait until tomorrow, next week, SOMETIMES even next month.

2. Spending my time nursing my baby messing around with my iPhone instead of soaking up every last fat roll and dimpled knuckle, remembering that this sweet phase in our life will be over before we know it.

3. Eating almost an entire package of Oreos in one sitting.

4. Caring about how much dog hair is in my house. We have two dogs. Is anyone really surprised that there’s hair everywhere?

5. Not enjoying every minute that I am in our office working. Seriously, there is no place to be that is more fun.

6. Drinking anything other than Diet Coke.

Friday: Up to feed the baby. Took Ross to work. Home to put the baby down for his nap. Various cleaning of the house and work things. Shower. Out to meet my mom for lunch. Drove to the office to take part in the LemonAid stand. Got rained out. Headed home to put the baby down for his nap. Tried to rest myself, but it didn’t really work. Got the baby up. Did more work while the baby played. Picked Ross up from work. Headed to the in-laws for dinner. Came home and put the baby down for a nap. Cleaned the kitchen while Ross put together new IKEA stuff. Sorted through my closet and finally packed away my maternity clothes. Pull some stuff to give away. Couldn’t bring myself to get rid of the sweater I was wearing on the day I found out I was pregnant. Bed.

Saturday: Up to feed the baby. Went back to bed thanks to a husband taking over morning duty. Up to putter. Went to the Farmers’ Market to pick up vegetables and get lunch. Home to put the baby down for his nap. Rested and showered. Went to friends’ house for a cookout. Home to put the baby to bed. Watched “Thirteen” and thanked the Lord that I don’t yet have a daughter. Bed.

Sunday: Up to feed the baby. Did some work for church. Played with the baby. Put the baby down for his nap. Showered. Fed the baby lunch. Played with the baby and did some work while various plumbing things happened. Ended up heading to church with the baby on my own. Saw friends and chatted. Home to fixed plumbing and dinner ready. Ate while watching Gilmore Girls. Headed out to Target to pick up some things. Back home to do some more work. Bed soon.

Have a great week!

JR,

This picture pretty much captures what our life is like these days:

Put simply, you are grabby and happy. In fact, most of the pictures I get of you now include something that’s blurred because you can’t! stop! moving! Hey you there, always with the wiggling and rocking and twisting and flopping, don’t you ever just want to sit still and maybe snuggle a bit?

This month marked your first trip on an airplane – your first trip lasting longing than a couple hours, actually. And, my dear child, you were spectacular. No freak outs, no wanting to tear out hair. Just pleasantness. We were all so proud of you, and I think we’re all looking forward to taking more trips as you get older because you clearly can handle it.

One of the big things that happened this month is that you finally cut your first tooth. Aside from some constant chewing on your hands, it didn’t seem to bother you too much. Tooth number 2 sprouted just this week, and it looks like another one is one it’s way. I do miss the gummy grin, but your new smile is quite cute.

You’re not crawling yet, but you have started pulling up. It happened like every other milestone with you: one day you didn’t do it, and the next day you did like you’d practicing for months. Mamaw got to witness that first. She offered you her hands to help you stand, but you just used them to hoist yourself right on up without any real help from her. When we got home that evening we had you show us your trick over and over again. We couldn’t stop laughing – you looked so cute and like such a big guy! Your doctor said you might go straight to walking since you hate being on your tummy so much. Maybe he’s right. Baby proofing needs to happen ASAP.

Speaking of moving, you are all over your crib these days. In the morning I always find you in a completely different spot that where I put you. And the other day I walked in and found you sleeping on your tummy, something you never, ever do. You looked shocked when you woke up and found yourself lying like that. You’re also developing the tendency to get your arms and legs stuck between the bars like this:

You get pretty upset when it happens, but I find it to be hilarious.

You’re showing much more interest in other babies. We took you to a Fourth of July party this month, and another baby was there. You guys kept trying to hold each other’s hands and touching each other’s faces. He was wearing shoes which you found fascinating and a little confusing. You would look at his feet and then look at his face like you were asking, “Hey dude, where are your toes?’ Watching that happen got me excited to arrange some playdates for you. We know a lot of babies around your age and it should be fun to get you guys together.

Another very special thing that happened this month (just yesterday, actually) was that you finally got to meet Jennifer and James. They are wonderful friends of ours who have been in Scotland working as missionaries for two years. It was so exciting to watch you meet them. Jennifer and I both cried a lot, and you looked a little confused. You were also a little thrown off when James held you because he’s SO much taller than anyone else you’re ever around. But you warmed up to them really quick and started smiling and laughing at them right away. It was a very special day for our family because being there when they saw you in person for the very first time and seeing the excitement on their faces reminded me of how much of a blessing you are.

Sometimes I still look at you and can’t believe you are mine, ours, forever.

Love,

Mama

Remember this picture? I had planned on posting a picture regularly but those plans were made when I was just three weeks in to being a parent and, therefore, blissfully unaware of how you barely have a chance to go to the bathroom let alone take pictures of yourself and hem and haw about them.

So, almost 8 months later, here’s an update…
(more…)

Watch out. I’m crabby. Here are things that aren’t helping…

1. JCrew and their not-fair practice of charging extra on swmsuits for those more endowed up top.

2. Jon Gosselin. Just in general.

3. The fact that Ross can go outside in shorts and not get a single mosquito bight. I go out IN JEANS, and my legs are completely covered.

4. Urologists.

5. Dog hair.

Real Simple is running a feature this month in which several different female writers describe what situations or life experiences have made them feel beautiful. I’ve been in a major rut lately, so I thought (instead of picking just one) I’d list a few of those moments for me.

When I bathe my little boy
This is my favorite part of the day – possibly my favorite part of parenting JR at this point. There is no computer on my lap, no phone in my hand, no conversation about work or what needs to get done next. It’s just him (and all of his delectable chub) and me, splashing, making duck noises, and exchanging “ba ba bas” and “glub glub glubs.” My face is relaxed, my breathing is calm, and my smiling comes easy.

When I turn a phrase “just so”
When you write for a living, it can get old. Really old. But there are moments every know and then when you think, “Yes. That’s perfect.” It feels like I’m oozing sunshine and stardust when it happens. (That last sentence was not an example of such a situation.)

When I’m polite to people
Making my mother proud and setting a good example for my son. That’s hard to beat.

Now you go…

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a tooth.

Unfortunately, I don’t have a picture of the tooth because SOMEONE is being a butthead about letting me take a picture of it.

(For the record, I didn’t say my child *is* a butthead. I said he was *being* a butthead regarding a particular situation.)

(Don’t worry. I’ll try to take one while he’s sleeping.)

It cut through last night, and JR is now the proud owner of a razor sharp sliver of tooth in his bottom gum.

And, guys, I’m kind of terrified.

I realize that as this tooth is on the bottom, and that as JR has a textbook latch, we’re probably not going to having any major issues with him attempting to give me some scandalous piercings.

But one tooth means more are coming. That means MULTIPLE razor sharp teeth in the mouth that is connect to my person several times throughout the day.

I’m cringing just thinking about it.

While I’m thrilled and proud (yes, proud, WHAT?) of JR for achieving this milestone, I’m a little sad because while I love nursing him now (it’s true, I do, just like everyone told me I would), I DO NOT love being sliced to bits in special places.

HALP HALP HALP!