Made in Richmond

WARNING: This is SUCH a mommy blog post. Part of me hates myself for it. BUT I HAVE INFORMATION I NEED TO SHARE.

Ok, so now that JR is 4 1/2 months old, I’ve started to finally be able to figure out what pieces of baby “stuff” work the best for us. And since I’m sure some of you out there are or hope to be expecting a wee one in the future, I thought I’d share. I’m not going to say I couldn’t live without these things because, let’s be honest, when it comes down to bare-bones survival with a baby, you need a blanket, maybe some diapers, and a functioning boob. So let’s just call these “nice-to-have” items.

Boudreaux’s Butt Paste
I mean, the name is pretty fabulous to begin with, but this stuff has been pretty amazing. JR isn’t paricularly prone to getting diaper rashes, but this goop clears up any redness with ONE application. Sure the $16+ price tag for the jar seems a bit steep, but it’s lasting forever and it just plain works.

Moby Wrap
I was originally going to write AN ENTIRE post devoted to this, but that would be a bit much, I think. We tried the Bjorn. JR hated it, judging from his insane screaming the second we put him in it. We tried the Hot Sling. My frame and his girth were just not compatible with their sizes (and please don’t tell me I was wearing it incorrectly. I watched the demo vidoes 87,321 times, and each attempt was cut short with JR attempting to throw himself onto my hardwood floors in order to save himself from getting his circulation cut off). So, a couple of weeks ago, I caved and bought this wrap, which is essentially a million feet of stretchy cotton that you twist around yourself all Jedi-like, creating a soft, flexible apparatus within which you can perch your child in a variety of configurations. So you’re bonding! While you do the dishes! Everyone wins! I almost cried the first time I put it on because FINALLY I was able to hold my 18 pound child close to me for longer than 5 minutes.

Cloth diapers
Don’t get the wrong idea – we are not doing cloth diapers. Much praise to those of you who do. I just don’t think I could handle it. We use these primarily for burp cloths, but lately they’ve taken on the role of JR’S MOST FAVORITE THING IN THE WORLD. Forget any toys we’ve purchased. All he wants to do is snuggle these, chew on them, or play peek-a-boo. The best part for us is that we never actually had to purchase any thanks to a friend who handed over about 30 of them once her daughter got beyond the “spitting up everything she ate” phase.

Johnson & Johnson nursing pads
The same friend who gave us the burp cloths recommended these. I had originally used the Lanisoh version but I found them to be super scratchy and irritating. I also tried washable ones but they just weren’t cutting it. My let-down reflex is, shall we say, enthusiastic, and there were some potentially embarrassing moments before I found these. They’re a bit thicker so you need to layer, but they are so soft and so not expensive.

Ring-A-Links
Oh, Ring-A-Links, with your cute name, lovely bright colors, and fun textures. This one *might* actually be worthy of getting a “must-have” title, at least with us. These little guys are tucked away somewhere in almost every room of our house just so we can easily have something on hand for the little man to grab at (or chew, lately). You can use them on their own or to hang up other toys on our stroller, car seat, etc. JR just loves to gnaw on them all day. The best part? They can easily be slipped around overall straps or through button holes so the kid doesn’t lose them. The hubs figured this out once during church and it made me want to make out with him right then and there.

Anyone else got some recommendations?

Friday: Loaded up Ross and the baby to go into the office for a while. Headed home to shower. Back out for lunch with my mom and sister. Home so the baby and I both could get some rest. Picked up Ross and went to the in-laws’ for dinner. Good food and fun times. Home and in bed by 10:30.

Saturday: Baby let me sleep in a bit. Fed him and myself. Lazed about. Put the baby down for a nap. Showered. Had lunch with college roomate. Home again. Quick rest. Fed the baby his dinner and then left him with his dad for the evening. Went to see Duplicity with some lady friends. Home and to bed.

Sunday: Up to feed the baby. Cleaned the kitchen. Did some work. Played with the baby. Repeat several times. Church. Got caught in traffic coming home. Baby was starving. Finally got home. Fed and bathed the baby before putting him down. More work. Some Firefly. Now bed.

Have a great week!

(this entire post was typed on my iPhone)

An email from my mother-in-law who takes care of JR while I’m at work…

Hi Mama,
Wanted to tell you that Mamaw says I’m having a  really good day today.  I have had to listen to Paxton bark at the ducks though but he is the one in trouble and in his crate.  Ha!

I’m starting to get tired so I think I’ll go take my nap.  See you later.

Love you,
`  u nuy             n ,m m                               bv    rf cx

I STORZ TEH FOODS IN MAH CHEEKZIES.

Do you know how hard it is to concentrate on work when you hear that “meh meh meh” winding up cry over the monitor?

All I want to say is “ANOTHER HOUR! I’M SUPPOSED TO HAVE ANOTHER HOUR! FIND YOUR LITTLE THUMB AND GO BACK TO SLEEP, KID. GEEZ!”

Friday: Up to feed the baby. Frantically posted RVANews’s coverage of VCU’s heartbreaking loss. Dropped Ross off at work. Came home. Put the baby down for a nap. Took a shower. Fed the baby again. Headed down to VCU to meet my mom for lunch. Ran a quick errand. Stopped by the office to feed the baby again. Back out for more errands. Home to put the baby down for a nap and take a quick rest myself. Fed the baby again. Tried to get him to eat rice cereal again. He still hated it. Puttered. Gave the baby a bath. Final feeding before his bedtime. Various time-wasters on the Internet. To bed late.

Saturday: Up to feed the baby. Ate breakfast. Put the baby down for a nap. Took a shower. Cleaned the bedroom. Watched the Battlestar finale. Fed the baby again. Headed out to Trader Joe’s and Costco. Carried the baby in our new Moby Wrap the entire time. It was a great success. Home to feed the baby again and put him down for a nap. Rested a bit. Fed the baby again. Hung out with Matt and Maura (and Matt’s parents who had never met the baby). Ate delicious homemade pizza after putting the baby down for the night. Good food and chats. Bed.

Sunday: Up to feed the baby. Tried rice cereal again. Yes, still hated it. Put the baby down for a nap. Cuddled with the hubs in bed a bit. Fed the baby again. Took a shower. Played with the baby. Put him down for a nap. Did some work. Fed the baby again. Headed over to church. Kept the baby in the Moby Wrap during the service and he actually napped like he was supposed to. Declare the Moby Wrap the best baby purchase yet. Headed home to feed the baby and eat dinner myself. Much cuddling and playing with the baby. Did the dishes. Gave the baby a bath. Fed the baby. Listened as Ross read him a very outdated Curious George book. Put the baby down for the night. Now doing work and watching Hellboy 2. Missing Battlestar. To bed soon.

Have a great week!

This June will mark 10 years since I graduated from high school. HOLY HELL, HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?

The reunion committee has started notifying people about our reunion coming up this fall (Quick side note: How the mess did reunion committees find anyone before Facebook?). Today, Justin (who we went to high school with – awww, lifelong friends!) directed Ross and me to our reunion website where you can set up a profile, letting the committee know where to find you, and (most importantly) totally scope out other people’s profiles to see what they’ve been doing since 1999.

In 12 short hours, I’ve become mildly obsessed. You can be sure that I will spend the majority of my time between now and September checking back on that site to see who else has added a profile AND to find out who will be making an appearance at the reunion.

Anyway, in honor of this new obsession, I thought I’d share some things about High School Valerie that you may or may not know…

1. I was on homecoming court. Twice. Both times I got to ride around during the Homecoming parade in a convertible with Katie Marsh who was awesome. And I’m sure still is.
2. I got up at 5:45 every morning so I could get to school as soon a possible to have time to hang out before the 7:20 start time. I have no clue how I did this without dying.
3. I played Ophelia in this sort of Shakespeare review that we did. I had to go out in the audience during the scene when she loses her sh*t and get all up in people’s faces. Basically I was my own worst nightmare because I’m ALWAYS the audience member that gets picked for stuff like that.
4. My boyfriends in high school went in this order: Jonathan, Matthew, Andrew, Ross, Darren, Ross, Tom, Ross. I REALLY hope I’m not forgetting someone because that would make me the ultimate douche bag.
5. I was only allowed to have a job during the summer. During the school year, my mother insisted that my only job was to “be a student.”
6. I gave three people rides to school every morning. Consequently, I rarely had to pay for gas. Keep in mind though that back then I could fill up my car for about $10 even.
7. My 11th grade Spanish teacher was the first person to point out my resemblance to Sabrina: The Teenage Witch. Her realization is probably the reason I ultimately decided to cut off my long hair, thus terminating the resemblance.
8. I used to wear lots of necklaces. Not like Mr. T, but to the point where pictures of this are kind of embarrassing.
9. I ate at Burger King most afternoons after school. How I am not 900lbs, I will never know.
10. My brother was occasionally a substitute for some of my classes. I hope I wasn’t an a-hole to him.
11. I sucked at geometry and trig but was awesome at algebra. I even won an award for it.
12. I once agreed to let Matthew put his name on my physics project if he agreed to bring me a sandwich from Dominic’s during a Saturday play rehearsal.

Now it’s your turn. Tell us about The High School You…

Now that I’m far enough removed from Jackson’s birth to really process it, I’m ready to talk about how things totally did NOT go how we planned. I know, it took 4 months to get to this point. But here we are.

When we were in our childbirth classes, I was more freaked out by the session talking about administering the epidural than the one in which we saw the baby being born. The idea of having a TUBE in my SPINE made me want to throw up.

For me, a C-section was my worst nightmare. I was terrified of the concept and even more terrified by stories of women having to wait hours to hold and nurse their babies. I was sure that a C-section equaled not having the chance to bond with my baby, an outcome that would have long-lasting and detrimental effects on all of us.

When I found out I was going to have to be induced, my first thought was, “I’m going to have Pitocin which means horrible contractions which means getting an epidural really early which means hours of pushing which means C-section!” I spent so much energy worrying about that, praying and praying that I wouldn’t have to go through that.

Well, I didn’t go through exactly that, but I didn’t have the birth I was expecting.

I hoped for a labor and delivery free from medical intervention, mostly because I thought I could handle it. My thought was, “I can do anything for a day.” Plus I’d heard so many wonderful things about natural childbirth (you know, aside from the horrible pain thing) and I wanted to give it a try.

As we all know, I ended up having about 45,000 interventions. IV, fetal monitoring, pain medication, an epidural, and I never got to experience the feeling of pushing my baby into this world.

And you know what? I really don’t care.

I got through 14 hours of labor with absolutely nothing helping me but some deep breaths and my husband basically punching me in the back to counter the INSANE back labor. 14 hours. Try to imagine someone trying to rip you in half for that long. The 6+ remaining hours were spent numb from the waist down, willing my cervix to get its act together. Alas, it never did and we had to go in and get the kid.

I know some women have an incredibly hard time after experiencing a C-section birth after hoping and expecting something different. Meanwhile there are people who actually have the nerve to say to new mothers having just experienced a C-section that it probably wasn’t necessary – the doctor was just in a hurry, or she should have just endured labor a little longer. I don’t think they realize this when they say it, but comments like that suggest that such births are less special or amazing.

I don’t feel like any less of a mother for not pushing my baby out. I carried him. My body made his body. We went through over 20 hours of labor together, both of us feeling the intensity of it, going through what needed to be done to bring him into this world.

And his birth was – excuse me while I weep – every bit as incredible as I could have ever asked for, with its own key players, priceless moments, and overwhelming emotions.

Looking back, I think perhaps Jackson’s birth was a bit more urgent than we realized. It was by no means a crash C-section, but there were several factors leading us to the decision that he needed some help: heart rate dropping with strong contractions which meant the cord was most likely around his neck; lots and lots and lots of hours passing after my water broke on its own and absolutely no progress; posterior positioning making it even harder for him to move down and out. I’m convinced that if we had waited things out much longer, things could have gotten very scary very quickly.

The bottom line is he’s here. He’s safe. We’re together. And things? They are fabulous.

JR and I spent some time this afternoon with Anne and her sweet little guy, Wade. As they were each other’s first playdate, we thought it appropriate to document the ocassion.

The age difference is around 10 weeks, but the size difference is, shall we say, considerable?

I have a hard time looking at this picture and keeping myself from singing “Faaaaat guuuuuy in a liiiiiittle stroller.”

I have a friend named Anna. She has a husband named Doug. Doug just turned 27. For his 27th birthday, Doug had a very special request for his birthday cake.

When I saw it, I almost cried.

Please go look at it and try not to want one.