Made in Richmond

Read an interesting take on the catastrophe that is Miss Teen South Carolina.

I got home today to find the porch sagging under the weight of box after box of hardwood flooring. The old flooring was torn up from the hallway and the tile hearths were no more. Sheets of sub-flooring leaned against the wall in the living room and on th back deck. The work begins early on Saturday morning and will go on through next week. Ross and his dad will begin laying sub-flooring while my mother-in-law and I go to get stained glass for the cabinet (to replace the fancy, green, “rain” glass) and to look at tile for the fireplaces. HUZZAH HUZZAH HUZZAH!!!!!

Kindly remove the possum carcass from your front yard. The smell is stinking up the block.

Thank you.

Leaving the house…

Yes, let’s get in the car. Hop to. Open the door please. Quickly, my feet have been on this wet grass far too long. Thank you.

In the car…

Can you please roll up the window? I don’t like how that wind musses my whiskers. Don’t you think I should be driving?

Arriving at the office…

Oh my goodness! We’re here! Please stop the car! You’re not stopping the car fast enough! I remember this place! This is where all of the ladies tell me I’m handsome and rub my chest! Let me out immediately! Miss, you’re not moving fast enough! Let me out at once!

In the waiting room…

Who has been here I know other ladies and gentlemen have been here but I can’t seem to find them do you know where they are where are the other dogs that I must boss around when do I get my chest rubbed have you noticed how handsome I am what is that in your hair let me remove that for you what is that in that cage making that horrible screeching noise?

Getting the vital statistics…

Excuse me! What do you think you are doing? I don’t think that is any business of yours. There is no way you are getting anywhere near me with that. Expect a letter from my lawyers within the next business day.

Meeting with the beautiful and snuggly vet…

Well, hello there. My I give you a kiss? How about a hug? Yes, I do love belly rubs. Oh, yes I know how handsome I am. Ha ha ha, yes I am a good boy. Do you want to slow dance?

The final examination…

You are getting a sample of what? No. Sorry. I save that pleasure for that lady who brought me here. She’ll bring it to you tomorrow.

-Fin-
Tune in next week for Zapp’s story.

…my brains have melted from the cuteness.

(Please remember to turn your sound on. And send it to everyone on this here green Earth.)

Friday: Good day at work. Came home and went out with Ross for drinks and appetizers. Home for more drinks and watching of the Bourne Supremacy. Bed.

Saturday: Up somewhat early. Volunteered at the Gilpin Games in the sweltering heat. Lost my keys. Freaked out and cried. Broke into our own house to get the spare key. Got my wonderful sister to drive us back down to Gilpin Court to get my car. Got a call that my keys had been found. Praised the Lord. Home for a long nap. Dinner of crap. Watched Trust the Man and enjoyed it very much. Did much laundry. Bed late.

Sunday: Gym. Sat upstairs while Ross and my father-in-law cut holes in our dining room floor. Tried not to look. Went to get Buzz & Ned’s for very late lunch. Off to Lowe’s to spend more money. Walked to church from Lowe’s while Ross went home to finish up for the day. Amazing worship and sermon at church. Good conversation afterwards. Too full for Taco Bell but not too full for Big Love and it’s craziness. Off to Target for various household necessities. Just cleaned the bathrooms. Watching Shooter and Zapp fight over an empty paper towel roll (we don’t give them treats-they just get cardboard). To bed soon.

Have a great week!

Nothing chokes me up more than seeing a child with his eye closed tight, face turned upward, leading a group in prayer.

Take a look at these pictures:

The one on the left was taken approximately a week and a half before the one on the right. Yes, my hair grows that fast. Hopefully looking at this comparison will help Ross understand why my mane must be tamed once a month. And he’ll CERTAINLY understand that facials are essential in that process as well.

I’ve always prided myself on not being scattered. Never will I make you late or force you to go back into a movie theater for a lost wallet. I’m totally not that guy. Well, except for today.

Ross and I joined members of our church down in Jackson Ward to volunteer at The Gilpin Games. It was basically a giant field day; the kids go to do sports activities and they got free lunch and school supplies at the end of the day. I spent the day wrangling a group of 7 and 8 year olds.

At one point a friend of ours needed to get something out of my car. I gave him my keys, which he promptly slipped back into my hand while I was getting the little ones settled with lunch. I remember them not being in my hand and then suddenly being in my hand and then I have no clue what I did with them. It wasn’t until we were walking around picking up trash at the end of the day that I realized they were missing.

Thus commenced my freak out. We weren’t sure if we still had a spare key at home and, if not, I didn’t particularly want to leave my car in Gilpin Court to “jacked up” (as I put it to my sister) while we were waiting God knows how long to get another key. Much to my horror, I actually cried. I think it was the combination of the heat, hunger, and fact that I was so thrown by the fact that I would ever do something like that.

Everyone was very nice and paced the length of the field, trying to find them. Nothing. We let the people in charge know and got a ride home to go find the spare key. My sister was nice enough to take us back to get the car. While we were on our way to get it, I got a call that the director of the program had my keys – turns out someone else volunteering had picked them up and called him at the end of the event. So, the whole ordeal took about an hour to sort out. No big deal. But I hated every single second of it. I guess you could say I have some control issues.

Work: The new job is great. The people are all incredibly nice, fun, and smart. More importantly, they are all extremely dedicated to their jobs and committed to having a positive attitude. That is such a nice thing to be around. I love going there and I love how I spend my day.

Being a former teacher: I’ve gotten a lot of emails and questions concerning how I feel about not going back to school in the next few weeks. I will miss my co-workers desperately, but I know I made the right decision. But still, as they say at my school, “Once a Reams person, always a Reams person.” It’s true. That school and the people there will always be in my heart. I started there when I was 21 and I grew up there in many ways. I wish them the best of luck as they get ready for another year with those little babies.

Defatting: I am officially at a stage in which I only need to worry about maintaining my current weight. I ended up going down to about 121, 4 lbs. lower than my goal weight. I’ve been at 121 for several weeks, so I’m assuming that’s right where my body wants me to be. Best of all, exercise has become something that I need to do in order to feel normal.

Recuperating: It has now been 2 1/2 weeks since The Cyst of Death. During my ultrasound the technician said that recovering from a cyst is like recovering from a bruise; the pain will get less and less over time, not suddenly. It took over a week for the discomfort to go away completely and my stomach is still somewhat tender. I’m getting back into the abdominal work slowly but surely.

Home Improvement: This summer, with the help of my amazing in-laws, we have replaced the fence, air conditioner, furnace, and water heater. Over the next few weeks we will begin the process to replace the hardwood floor downstairs. It’s pretty overwhelming to think about everything, but I know it will all look amazing when it is finished.

Reading: C.S. Lewis’s The Screwtape Letters was recommended to me by someone at work. In case you’re not familiar, it’s a one-sided conversation (via letters) between a senior devil and his nephew about the best way to bring the nephew’s “patient” to the side of “Our Father Below.” It’s a great way to look at the temptations that people face – and it makes me LOLz 4real.

Overall, things are going so well. I hope they are for you, too.