Made in Richmond

Apparently I caught a little something from dear Remus while I babysat him on Saturday night. I had all 45 minutes of direct contact with him, but I guess that was enough to pass along some variation of his funk. I was akwakened by a cramping stomach and wicked nausea this morning. Once my body was vertical for more than 5 minutes, the toilet and I became good friends for awhile. Needless to say, I didn’t make it into work and I’m sure that all of my colleagues think I’m playing hooky on what would have been a day of staff development. Trust me, I would much rather be developed than vomit anyday.

Luckily, I’m feeling much better already. My fever seems to be gone and I can think about food without wanting to die. Thank the Lord for quickly passing near death experiences.

Friday night: Started easy fingerless gloves, kept knitting until I finished one which meant staying up until 1:00am.

Saturday morning: Fed the dogs, went to the gym.

Saturday day: Interviewed Stewart over at The Yarn Lounge for a piece on West of the Boulevard News, napped.

Saturday night: Babysat Remus, ordered in from Carytown Burgers and Fries, watched 1/4 of Chariots of Fire but went upstairs because I couldn’t understand anything those crazy Brits were saying, finished other fingerless glove, handed Remus off to his parents, went to bed.

Sunday morning: Slept through it.

Sunday afternoon: Woke up at noon (you can do that when you have no babies), went to Target to buy food processor and Dutch oven (when Ross says we need something, it’s a responsibility, went to church.

Sunday night: Finished my article about Stewart, ate delicious French Onion soup (thank you, Brandon Eats), watched T.V., off to bed soon.

And now for the thing I love most this week…

Because I can’t take a good picture to save my life, let me explain what this is. You might be able to see that it says “Murray’s Hair Dressing Pomade.” Maura gave Ross this awhile ago to tame his crazy moustache. Since Ross is not one for grooming so much, it was going unused. Now, many people rave about how easy short hair is. As a person with short hair, I will tell you that it is extremely easy if you’ve got the right product. After spending probably thousands of dollars on different pomades and waxes that must have been laced with gold considering their price, imagine my surprise when I discovered that this product was the best thing out there. The reason why I never got it before is because I’m so programmed by society I guess to not venture anywhere near the aisle in the drug store that displays products intended for African American hair. And you can’t see in the picture, but there’s a picture of a guy wearing a do-rag on the side of the container. So, honestly, it’s not what I would have gone for first. But, Murray’s Hair Dressing Pomade, I’m so glad you came into my life. You take me from looking like a nine year old boy to looking like a 25 year old lady with cute-ass hair. Thanks, Murray!

Setting: The Catrow house, 8:00 am on a typical Saturday

Characters:

Shooter Belle Catrow: Epileptic, OCD, and captain of the Fun Police

Zapp Along Catrow: Tall, gangly, and stupid

Z: OHMIGOSH!!!!! WE GET TO GO DOWNSTAIRS!!!! I LOVE DOWNSTAIRS!!! IT’S SO FUN!!!!! LET ME SHOW YOU HOW EXCITED I AM BY SLAMMING INTO THE WALLS AS I WIGGLE AND SHAKE!!!! SHOULD I KNOCK EVERYTHING OFF OF THIS TABLE WITH MY TAIL????? OK!!!!

S: Miss, please hurry up. It’s been quite awhile since you fed us last.

Z: ISN’T THIS GREAT?!?!?!?!?!?! OMG OMG OMG!!!!! SHE’S GETTING YOUR BOWL, SHOOTER!!!! LOOK AT HER, LOOK AT HOW SHE GETS YOUR BOWL!!!! I LOVE HER SO MUCH!!!!!! LET ME JUMP ALL OVER YOU TO SHOW YOU HOW MUCH I LOVE HER!!!!!

S: Miss, make sure you coat each of my epilepsy pills with olive oil. You know I won’t eat them, otherwise.

Z: AND WATER!??!?!?!?!?!?!?! WATER, TOO? THIS IS AMAZING!!!!!!! LOOK AT HER GO!!!! SHE’S FILLING UP YOUR WATER DISH!!!!

S: Hop to it, please. I need to get back to my OCD rituals of sniffing every doorknob in the house.

Z: OMG, YOU’RE GOING TO FEED ME, TOO????!!!!!!!?????????? LET ME THRASH ABOUT 2 FEET OFF OF THE GROUND LIKE A FISH OUT OF WATER TO SHOW MY APPRECIATION!!!! OOPS, I KNOCKED OVER THE TRASHCAN BECAUSE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!

Taaaa-dahhhh!!!

I decided to make a super-easy version of fingerless gloves. It’s garter stitch but I seamed it together along the cast-on/bind-off sides so they kinda look ribbed. Jane was kind enough to bring me some quality yarn (you can see the label in the corner of the picture). I must say, knitting with yarn that isn’t 100% acrylic is very delicious. Hopefully I’ll get the other one done tomorrow-just in time for it to warm up so I can never wear them!

I was thinking about Leah and Jeremiah a lot today for some reason, and whadyaknow, I found this picture of them. It’s from the first pig pickin’ either 2 or 3 years ago, I can’t remember.

You’ll be back. Oh, you’ll be back. One day California is going to sink into the sea, and you’ll be back.

First incident: I had a really hard time putting on my tights today. I got them about halfway up my legs and then they wouldn’t budge. I then realized that they were a size that I haven’t worn for about 3 years. Why do I even still have them?

Second incident: I couldn’t understand why I felt so fat today. Then I remebered that the skirt I’m wearing is actually one size too small. Again, why do I even have this skirt?

Sigh.

This is what Ross wakes up to every morning:

And we’re still married. When I looked in the mirror this morning, I laughed out loud (LOLed, as some would say) because of how ridiculous I looked. Naturally, I immediately wanted to share my appearance with you, dear readers. Please notice my hair and the smudged makeup under my eyes. Also that I look like a man. I’ll have you know that I saved this picture under the name “hotness.”

You should all be brave and post pictures of what *you* look like when you first wake up. It’s ok-we’re all friends here.

As many of you know, if Ross is interested in something it is all we discuss at the Catrow house. Honestly, I oftentimes just nod my head and grunt in response to Ross’s soap-box and/or nerded-out moments, but his latest issue of concern is actually of interest to me, both as a woman and a responsible citizen. Wait, that *might* imply that women aren’t responsible citizens, but I think you get what I mean.

You might be familiar with the One Less campaign that’s been on TV as of late. It advocates women and girls getting a vaccination for HPV, a virus that up 75% of women will get at some point AND is responsible for 90% of cervical cancer cases. If you are woman who takes good physical care of yourself and your parts, i.e. you go to the gynecologist every year, get your pap smear, do your breast exam every month, you are going to be somewhat prepared if ever presented with a dreaded diagnosis of cancer because you will probably detect it very early. I would consider myself one of these women. I am very aware of what is going on with my body. Not only that, I am in a monogomous relationship and do not engage in what some might call “risky behavior” that might expose me to STDs. However, I’d jump at the chance to get a vaccination that makes yet another woman’s issue a non-issue for me.

The CDC is recommending that all girls (because HPV seems to have no lasting effect on boys) get this vaccination before going into middle school, along with the whole other round of shots they get. Legislators in 10 states are even working to make it a requirement, just MMR vaccinations and the like. Women and girls who want the vaccine are even having trouble getting it.

And yet there are some people who believe that vaccinating kids against an STD will encourage them to have premarital sex because, hey, it will be one less thing for them to worry about. I mean I know that once I got my tentanus shot before going to college I ran right out and tap-danced on some rusty nails because finally I was free!!!!!!! Now that I have my flu shot, I’m going to go lick every doorknob in school BECAUSE I CAN!!!!!! I hope you sensed my sarcasm.

We need to weigh the options here. Do we really want to run the chance of more women and girls getting cervical cancer because we think giving them a shot will give them the greenlight to go have sex? I guarantee if you ask any sexually active or non-sexually active teenager what scares them about having sex they will say A) pregnancy B) HIV/AIDS C) my parents finding out and killing me. I really don’t think you will hear much concern over HPV or cervical cancer. It’s not an issue for them and it doesn’t have to be. We have a vaccine for a virus that leads to cancer. Did you read that? A vaccine for cancer. I was sure flying cars would come first. I’m just thanking my lucky stars here and maybe everyone else should be doing the same.

I promise you, I am normally not a suspicious, socially awkward ass. When Ross and I were in Ukrop’s today and you came up and asked me if I had a blog, I was so taken aback and shocked that my immediate reaction was that you must have mixed me up with someone. Even though I *do* have a blog, I was convinced that no one actually *reads* it. That’s probably why I squinted my eyes at you and demanded that you tell me the name of the blog you were referring to. Honestly, I almost wanted to ask you what my tattoo looks like or what my dogs’ names are to see if you were for real. In any event, if we ever cross paths again, I promise from the bottom of my heart that I will not be a bumbling, somewhat asshole-ish (though it was completely inadvertent) fool.

Thanks for reading. I hope you keep on doing it and don’t start some meme about how I suck.

All the love in my heart,
Valerie